29 Nov 08 - What a GREATER Year - 2009!

today's service is record-breaking! by 7.40pm, we're already in expo foyer 3, walking towards the car. as we decided to have a rest after the long last week, i'm already at home by 8.15pm! wow!.. first time :)

Pst Tan's (super) short and simple message did it again (that's why we love his preaching so much! compact n powerful!) it's so short.. just 5 points on thanksgiving, yet the message is so embedded inside my heart.. the Presence of God was so tangible that i can almost touch God!

looking back (i know i've been looking back now n then but still..), i really so happy for all that happened in Yr2008. What an honour! it's a life-time experience to be in cloud-nine, then fall straight to lowest n darkest pit of life, and to climb up from the valley of dried bones.. I'm so happy i'm called to go through it all! people who know i was in depression tends to 'pity' me and pray for me to be happy.. but the fact is, I'M HAPPY TO BE CALLED TO GO THROUGH IT ALL.. in fact, if u ask me to choose again, i'd still go through it again. it's really an honour, a priviledge to be there to experience it all. of course, i'm not saying u shld pray for it.. everyone will experience his/her lowest pit one day; when that day comes, you'll know it's an honour to be called to it. i'm serious.. not self-counselling but dead serious that i'm so happy that i'm called to experience all those in Yr2008. Awesome!

looking forward, i know there're GREATER things to come! these are only the BEGINNING! I cant wait for Yr2009 to come! What a year it will be! So much more of God to be revealed, so much of His goodness to be discovered! .. i'm so excited!!! Cant wait to see what's His plan for me!

p/s: I've added new songs on my blog.. just listen on.. Light of City - The God I Know..

26 Nov 08 - 2nd involvement in BCP

Yr2008 sure has all sorts of my 'first experience'..

let alone what happened and had been overcame, past few days after Asia Conference were really totally new experience.. i was suffering from this food poisoning after eating fried koay-teow(with cockels).. together with my mum (who ate don't know what also ended up with stomach upset), we cuddled together on my bed (again!).. for the whole night, we took turns to try to 'vomit' out our discomfort.. then something prompted me to pray.. frankly, praying in pain is really nt an experience sought after.. but it's usually when you cling onto God as 'last hope' and miracle happens... for past 2hrs++ in wee hours, we are so sleepy yet unable to rest cos of the nausea.. after praying, my mum was finally able to rest beside me without groanings.. and just before she dozed off, she gave thanks to Jesus!! Thanks be to God!

as for me.. well, i thank God i was able to rest after my mum's miracle, feeling better yesterday morning getting ready for work.. but all came back after my usual car motion-sickness.. the next uncomfortable thing i know, besides my stomach infection last yr, is this! totally unbearable.. of course, i had food poisoning before, but this time is really 'IT'! what an experience indeed!

Thankfully, our work team is activated to work from home under BCP today! What a blessing! Though i took half day to rest yesterday, but to be able to rest at home 'while working' is really good! see - God is good all the time! This is my second involvement in BCP.. what a pleasure indeed.

19 Nov 08 - Asia Conference Day1

I've never met anyone as consistent as GOD!

Just the day before, i was reminded of the vision given in 1995 - Church Without Walls. (That's why you guys get to listen to the song 'Making A Difference' when you visit my blog these days.Such a 'old' song full of memories with Sun as lead singer.. ) And behold - today's Asia Conference opening message is on the SAME topic - Making Difference in our land.

I cant help smiling cos our Almighty God who is ever so faithful and consistent! If He gives you a word, you can be sure His word stands from age to age! Glory be to God in the Highest! Though it's super late now and i had a super long day (from 10am till 1130pm), but my spirit is still so active! Cant wait for tomorrow - more of God will be revealed!

Let us rise up for Glory of God!
Let's touch Asia and transform the World through this conference!

17 Nov 08 - 海角7號

after 2 continual sleepless nights of cold i'm on medical leave today.. trust me - being on medical leave is really a boring thing for me.. decided to watch the most talked about Taiwanese movie - 海角7號 (Guoqing gave me a copy when he was in Singapore last month) .. finally i have the time to sit down and watch it..

initially the plot was quite slow-paced.. but perhaps cos i really miss my 'life in Taiwan' hence even the slow country life is appealing to me.. the so-familiar Taiwanese language with Chinese Mandarin and a bit of Japanese.. yet just before it gets on my impatient nerves to switch it off... it suddenly becomes so touching.. the missing and devotion of love.. the unity of people if they are willing to take the effort.. the boldness to step out in love... all becomes so real..

i didn't cry as much as those movie critics said... but it really touches my heart..not the emotional hipe, but the very flesh of heart. what a real story, so simple so real... no effects, no motive.. just real life story.. (it may not win those Blockbuster movies, but it sure has its class of its own)..

i wonder how wld it be - love across continents. i've always been a skeptic of long distance relationship..i guess i can say i've tried but perhaps just like the Jap teacher who wrote the letters.. it's a unimaginable affair to give up life in home country, it really requires courage.. but yet when u leave, it's a mixed feeling of 'leaving for home' and 'leaving from home'..

what a story.. so simple i really cant say more.. but i encourage people to watch it when it's screened in Singapore theaters in late Nov08. cant say it's worth the $10 pricing cos no effects is involved, but it's sure a value-for-money movie.. a domain value which has been masked by modernity.

15 Nov 08 - God is Love

today is my 1st time to an cath holy matrimony.. it's so nice to see all the amplify friends again, and cassilda (bride) is so GORGEOUS! i mean, leo n cass are so smart together.. just one look, u know they are made-in-heaven couple.

personally i'm so blessed by Fr William's homily.. bringing me back to a verse i once harped on - let us love one another, for love comes from God..God is Love (1 John 4:7-8)...
the world has deemed marriage to be a private affair between 2 persons(ie. no fuss issue), a trivial process in life (ie. get-over-n-done-with attitude), a mutual 'understanding' relationship (ie. who-cares-about-others mindset), and even has this 'trial' period of cohabitation. But is it really the meaning of marriage? .. personally, marriage holds so much more significance! the very fact is marriage is sacred - cos God is in the covenant of love! how can it be a private fuss-free affair, when it's meant to be an public declaration of love vows n commitment, under God's witness and blessing? when God is love and love is God, how can it be on 'probation' - cos God is faithful and everlasting!!

cant tell you how much i've been blessed by this reminder on God's Word, but I AM! looking at the newly-weds, i know they have fully understood the true significance of marriage. they will indeed be fruitful in their love and bear fruits -physically and spiritually for the Lord. what a living testimony of God's faithful love still exists in this world! what an honour to know this couple who loves God so fervently and his people passionately!

13 Nov 08 - Friends in Taiwan

it's now holiday seasons... so many people are planning their travel.. and most of them actually came to ask for my 'advice' to Taiwan, including my sister.. i'm glad i can provide some insights but .. honestly, i kinda miss 'my 2nd home'.. i know i've only been back for few months but how nice it wld be if i can just be ard my good friends (in taiwan), spending Christmas together.. just the group of us chatting the night away..

it's not as if i dun have good friends in singapore, but.. i miss my friends in taiwan.. perhaps cos they are really fun-loving (and crazy?), even with those married ones. we can really discuss about anything under the sun, even with their wives n hubbies, tease each other and plan anything together with just a phone call.. i miss Kai, Joanne, Albert, Ares, Jacq, Eli and even my ex-boss Kevin Lin.. haha, i know it's crazy but i do.. and of course, my little princess - Tingting. *argh* i really miss them.. but i know i cant return now. at least not till Ares returns to Taiwan frm his business trip.. (our relaxation trip has alway been put on shelf cos he has been on this super long business trip!!) .. miss those late night chats with Ares and Kai on the phone despite our limited 'common' language..

.. if they know i'm missing them like this, they'll surely be so haughty! ok, guys, time to get your butts to SINGAPORE!!

11 Nov 08 - Happy Birthday, Bosco

tmr is 12Nov..
just came to realise it when i log into facebook this afternoon.. at the right-hand corner, it says tmr birthday - bosco lai.. it's not as if i've forgotten his birthday (in fact it is one of those dates which i foresaw a challenge,just like 2Oct) but i really didn't realise its impact till this afternoon..

as much as i wld like to celebrate with him,i know it's not in my range of choices; as much as i wld like to wish him 'Happy Birthday',i dunno how and what to say.. the question then came to my mind 'should i?' .. for some time, i was really wondering if i should.. in the end,i decided to send him a e-card (at least it's an effort to choose n send, if he still appreciates it) .. but even till this moment,i still wonder if the card message is appropriate, will he misinterprets as i'm still upset with him (cos the message is like 'looking back at your achievement past yr').. then again, that is the simpliest design i can find (fyi i searched in 2 web greeting sites). .. anyway what's sent is sent, so be it.

how saddening it is.. last yr this day i was happily planning a surprise for him - a lunch treat for 3, took this leap of faith to get him a watch as his present.. yet, this year this time, i have to step back all the way to a simple e-card.. and still ve to worry if it'll dampen his happiness..
how ironic.. how contradicting life can be..

10 Nov 08 - Dumb way to know a person

i received an email from Bosco today.. in fact it's abt 10am this morning when he sent to my webmail.. it took me 1min to decide if i shld open it, then i took 3mins staring at his message..before i embark on another 1min to decide if i should delete it. when i finally deleted it, i took more than 5mins for his 2 sentences email.

basically, he was just replying to a mass survey email (those that ask u to share this news with your friends via mass mailing).. so it's not really a direct email to me.. he mentioned he sms me but i didn't reply him(must be the old mobile cos he dun know my new contact) ..he just wants to know how am i now.. ..

my first tot: shld i be affected, be it happy or sad? then next qn: what kind of answer is he expecting?.. .. i know he's still caring enough to ask how am i, but .. how do u expect me to answer that qn?

personally i think it's a dumb qn. considering that super fluent A1 essay he wrote in reply to my old blog (all the effort to structure his thoughts flow), i'm sure he can do better than to ask this 'direct' qn, even though he's really just want to know how am i. .. am i still angry/upset with him? i can clearly tell u - i was but not anymore. it's a burden which i've learnt to let go and let God, thru His stern lesson. .. personal view: if u really want to know how is ur ex-gf doing, then please be smarter. there are alot of other ways to find out, rather than to ask 'just want to know how are you getting?'. if there's a will, there's a way... anyway,how do u expect the answer to be- 'thanks, i'm better now'? 'i still miss you'?? 'how about you n her'???.. if u r asking for the sake of asking, i'd suggest it's better to leave each of u to your life.. cos u might be hurting or giving her false hope.. hence, i decided it's a dumb qn, so i deleted it without replying.

some of u may applaud at my deletion, some may question if i'm too impolite to his kind intentions. well, let me put it this way.. i understand his kind intentions - he really wants to know how am i now after all i was really in a bad shape.. but now that he's on same level as 'normal friends', then i have to see if this kind of 'get-to-know-you' qn interest me. u can say my expectations are high - yes, i do expect guys to take the bold steps to face rejection, for sake of the ladies they really like. it's like a desire - if u really want to know,you'll do everything to find out, even though failure may slams on your face dozens times. clearly, i do not see any effort from this email of good intention to know about my present life.. hence.. it's permanently out of my malbox. perhaps another comfort point/test of faith: if we're meant to be, i believe no matter how many times i slam the door at his face, nothing will stop him from returning.. if God is for us, who can be against us?

8 Oct 08 - God's reminder - 1John 4:4

for the past 3 days, i've been receiving this verse from various people.. the verse i vividly remember as my first sharing in CTK charismatic prayer group during my pit (i was standing in front of everyone with the mic, proclaiming this verse which came from nowhere.. and that's also how i got to know uncle bonnie).. simple verse but it holds such power within.. now it's such a memorial promise to me..

when Jesus paid with His life for us, everything has been done and given to us as our victory over the devil. when we pray for our breakthrough,our revelations, how often did we look back into the Word of God, to the Beginning - our redemption at the Cross. what a GREAT Price has been paid so we can now be heirs in God's Kingdom! how can we overlook that... the Great Exchange has already been done!! We have overcomed the world!!! whatever situation we face, whatever we need to enjoy fullness of life, do we realise that all these have already been given to us? the issue now is are we 'bold' enough to claim our blessings to be ours?

honestly, i see no reason why devil wants to have our blessings, afterall he is already ruling in this world.. i believe what he is really after is our joy. without joy, we feel weak n unable to walk with God; without joy, we cannot testify God's great love for His people; without joy, our Living God is turned into a mere idealogy, another religious concept of doing good (in sociologist term - opium of the masses in society).. do we really see ourselve as heirs of God, given the same authority, power and faith as Jesus for our daily exercise? we are called to be overcomers, not just 'living to get by' Christians... we need to claim our joy n bring down the devil! he has no right to steal our joy!! even in our deepest pit in life, Jesus lives in us and He has overcomed the world!!

...this verse is such a blessing to me! i thank God for His gentle reminder!!


1 John 4:4 [AMP]
Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.

7 Nov 08 - Stones under polishing

recently i've been thinking.. why do people complain about their work, colleagues, boss or even their friends? lunch time is a good time to mingle and share with colleagues, but also a good time to complain??

ok, pouring out woes and sharing frustration is good and healthy but beware - there is a thin line between sharing and gossipping. personally, when the topic has gone beyond how you feel about the issue, and gone into sharing personnal comments about the person, that is gossip. gossip does not necessary need to bitch about his personal affairs, but simply 'sharing' with others how 'bad' you feel that person is - that is gossip.

first of all, i wonder how do you judge? maybe he is having a bad day, maybe he is also finding ways to improve himself in life (perhaps not in the generally well-acceptable way), or maybe he is just really out to make your life difficult.. what's wrong with that? we are all created differently, put in a different environments hence different values and attitudes. generally we all behave differently, our ideas are different.. why do we allow our lives to be miserable by harbouring all these complaints on these differences? will these gossip make him a better person? i believe everyone of us are called to 'polish' one another, just like how raw stones go through all the grinding and rubbing to polish themselves into gems. yes-he is making your life difficult, but it has a PURPOSE!

before we complain that he's purposely making life difficult for us, very often i wonder - are we also making life difficult for others (knowingly and UNknowingly)? i know i have always try to be a friendly friend and colleague, but there are times i just get on people's nerves with my friendliness. let alone the times i purposely make things difficult for some, just because i am not in the mood to be accommodating.

listening to all these complaints.. i can only smile.. not to condone their 'harmless' judgement, but i pray one day people will come to realise the imperfection in every of us, including themselves. especially so for us Christians, we proclaim 'love your enemies as yourself' and 'judge not, for the same judgement will be on you', yet the same tendency to judge, to gossip like the world is such a easy entrapment.

... what can i say.... we are all imperfect stones, require one another to grind and polish each other. hopefully, we will be able to shine forth like precious gems after all these uncomfortable friction in polishing process.

6 Oct 08 - Faith is SIMPLE but requires regular EXERCISE

believe it or not - i'm SO happy today! laughing from inside out.. my God is Living God - He hears and answers prayers!

it started last night when i was praying for one colleague whose church commitment is not really that regular.. immediately after my prayer, she called! (this is the 1st time she's calling outside work-hours) and to my amazement, she actually requested my company to a mid-week service in her church, cos she dun wan to go alone! trust me, she sounded so abashed that i thought it'd be a super-duper huge favour to ask.. of course i agreed! in fact, what an honour to be requested!

the funny thing is.. the sermon topic is on 'PREGNANCY'! i can understand her desire to be fruitful,all who are attending are pregnant/desiring to be pregnant wives...but i'm single! (i even joked with her that what if Holy Spirit falls on all in the room to be pregnant? i do not have the faith like Mother Mary - to be pregnant when single..:D ) well,i went anyway.. all things happen for a reason, just have to be open and learn what He has planned for me..

it's my first time visiting this infamous church and we made it so 'just-in-time' for the service.. the moment i stepped in, i know this is the House of God cos His Presence is already there.. my spirit is stirred up and my tongues just went off.. when our Lord is in the House, nothing and no one else seems to matter anymore(even though i would usually be looking around - normal behaviour for 1st-time visitor).. praise and worship in His Presence is such a joy, i just felt 'at home'..

well, things didnt just stop there.. though the topic is on pregnancy, Pastor Nerida Walker shared her faith in God's Word. this is when my spirit is really jumping.. what a word in season, rhema for me.. All has been done so the we can have fullness of life! Victory has been won at the Cross! God speaks to you through your spirit and heart(faith processor), not through your head(logic processor)... her sharing brought me back to one of Joyce Meyer's sermons - Living with passionate purpose: Choose to do what is right then your feelings will catch up with your choice; When God shows you something He wants you to do, He puts it in your heart; Make a decision based on the Word of God and trusting Him to make your feelings right.... in the end, i came out from the service, being 'pregnant' with so much faith!! it's not emotional faith 'hipe', but a spiritual pat-on-the-back that fills my soul!

Fear has a vision - vision of undesired natural outcome which is earthly bound.
Faith also has a vision - vision of desired supernatural outcome which is Heavenly bound!
How much better is faith! Choose faith today!


i'm so blessed this evening that i cant stop laughing inside and smiling outside. indeed, the joy of the Lord is my strength :) be it single,attached or married, the pilot of my life is JESUS! i'm just His co-pilot! I'm so happy that He IS my Pilot!


Heb 11:1 [AMP]
NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].

1 Nov 08 - Arise and Build 2008

(looking at past entries, this journal is turning into a diary soon.. )

this is the first time my A&B pledge is without sobbing and tears.. not cos this pledge does not mean much to me but perhaps i've learnt (still learning) to trust Him.. afterall He did miraculously help and see me thru my depression... If He had put the word in your heart, He WILL bring it to pass. that's one thing i know for sure.. lift it up to Him, trust and wait for Him.. :) He is the Only One who can turn water into wine, heal the lame and raise the dead..

mum n sis finally flying to europe.. dunno if i'd ever have this 'desire' to visit europe, that place has never been in my travel consideration.. but i'm glad my mum is able to visit, esp at her age now. it must be a wonderful cultural exchange for her.. but my next 2 wkends will be challenging cos no need to go market with mum, hence nothing to do, hence boring.. :S good time to laze again??

... remember my old friend? i'm glad he's ok now.. i know it's not easy to accept, i also know he will be able to get thru it. :) happy that i can still keep this old friend :D


Luke 1:37
For nothing is impossible with God