just 1hr 45 mins more to Yr2009..
in 'compensation' of my rejection to join their pool game, i had a great dinner with N277 just now.. it's supposed to be 2-person (me and lilian) chill out affair but it kinda snowballed into a 15 pple gathering.. it's amazing how things can get organised in such short time (invitation was only opened last night) despite this 'no reservation' season!! what a highly efficient group! I brought my cousin along and i'm so glad she's open to 'be with Christians'.. (I dunno why but pple always have this impression that when Christians gather, they either pray, study the Bible or preach.. which is NOT totally true! we are still normal people require normal social activities!!)
though i may be deem as anti-social to turn down all the celebration outings, but i'd rather stay at home with my mum who is alone at home (my 2 sis are celebrating outside with their friends n bfs; my dad's working).. i'm happy to be at home now with my family and perhaps cos i know it'll be so hard to return home after countdown.. been there done that, and i dun think i have the energy to dance the night away again... perhaps age is really catching up??
marina bay countdown is so much more energetic than vivocity :) (btw, tay ping hui's voice is quite nice).. wondering what are my friends doing out there, while waiting for countdown.. though i miss the hipe and energy, but unless i'm prepared to dance the party till next morning... lest no point squeezing with the crowd. perhaps i will try that again next yr?? ahahaa
taiwan's countdown party is nice (though i dunno what they are singing :P) .. but it sure reminds me of my 'hometown' ahaha.. miss those ktv days though i really dunno who and what they are singing.. ahhaa.. great fun when you just dunno + dun care.. making a fool of myself. hahaa
all in all, i'm so happy to spend the last day of 2008 with my love ones - N277 and my cousin :) and now.. my mum :) It will be a GREATER year ahead! I'm so looking forward to 2009!
Psa 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
30 Dec 08 - Let's get married
(did any of u realise it was 29 dec yesterday?? .. oh well, i suppose i 'graduated' so well that we easily 'overlooked' that date... *good job, J*)
u know why counsellors dun really talk much?? cos it's really interesting to hear all the complaints and scoldings from the 'victim'.. i really enjoy listening to how and what people are saying when they are angry/upset.. (try it - it's really fun..but just dun join in their fun!) many a times, people rehearse and repeat those angry and hurtful words and images to themselves.. (this is where fun is - so silly of people)
seen the movie "monster-in-law"? or heard of how impossble tough in-laws relationship can be? well.. i'm speaking to the guys tonight.. guys, pull down your ego and take on your humility when u face your in-laws or potential in-laws..
1) acknowledge the fact they ARE parents of your wife/gf
i dun care if ur partner is fostered or they are not 'good' parents.. the real fact is THEY ARE YOUR ELDERS. they might not be 'open-minded' as you or even your parents, but they are your elders, her parents. remember we talked abt submission to authority, and every authority on earth is appointed by God? So, stop finding excuses for yourself that "respect is to be earned".. even if respect is to be earned, who are you to ask your elders to earn your respect? how much of life have you been through, compared to them?
2) love is an involvement of 2 families
i know it sounds like "romeo and juliet" but it's very true.. love is about giving sacrificially. if u really love your partner, you want her to be happy, dont you? it's clear that being sandwiched is not a joy.. but even if your partner 'resents' her own parents, do you think she'll be happy cos she's 'out of their clutches'? no one likes a broken relationship, esp with own parents. by 'helping her out of the clutches', you are not restoring joy in her heart (in fact you cant!) And pls dun join the vicious cycle of blaming her parents or siding with ur partner for the sake that she is your partner.
guys, you have an important role in every relationship, esp in a family. you are called to LEAD, not to be led! you have a choice - lead her into fullness of joy or - lead her into the whirlpool of hurt
even though you really do not like her parents or family, humble yourself to earn their respect and trust. the process is full of trials and even tedious.. but it stems down to how much you want your partner to be in REAL JOY, to be free from all the bondages of hurt and resentment..
Remember - what goes around comes around.. one day when ur daughter has a bf, do you want him to earn your repect or you earning his?
3) marriage is a 1-time life-long commitment
those who are married will tell you: it's easier to say 'I do' than to stay married. how true, isn't it? many people are willing to spend 1 yr to plan their big day, but takes 1 day to end it off.
for those guys who are not married - how do you know she is 'the one'?
i know there's no such thing as 'the one' cos pple do change, so do your expectations.. but how can u be sure she is the one who will get you away from all other temptations? 10yrs, 20yrs down the road, will you be able to 'resist' outside seductions becos of her?
dun be eager to marry cos u r of the 'right age' (if so, you are obviously not in the right mentality for marriage) or simply cos u 'feel comfortable' with her. of course, i'm nt asking u not to get married. but do give SERIOUS consideration of the commitment behind the word "marriage". You may 'feel right abt it' now, but how abt feeling right 20yrs,30yrs to come?
then again, do not shun from this responsibility of marriage. You are created with a stronger shoulder to take these responsibilities! (to be crude: why do you think God bless male to be stronger than female? it comes with responsibilities to bear!)
Again, i must remind you - marriage is NOT a try-out. you CANNOT just 'try and see how things will turn out'!! be it Christian values or whatsoever.. do you not know broken marriage is a deep stab into the heart, though people may appear ok with it? Is this the happiness you promise to give in your marriage vow?
.. think about it.. be seriously serious when you say 'let's get married'
p/s: dont worry i'm not recalling my hurt cos it's 'annivesary'.. but cos i've just counselled a friend on this issue.. dont freak out! I'm really ok!!
u know why counsellors dun really talk much?? cos it's really interesting to hear all the complaints and scoldings from the 'victim'.. i really enjoy listening to how and what people are saying when they are angry/upset.. (try it - it's really fun..but just dun join in their fun!) many a times, people rehearse and repeat those angry and hurtful words and images to themselves.. (this is where fun is - so silly of people)
seen the movie "monster-in-law"? or heard of how impossble tough in-laws relationship can be? well.. i'm speaking to the guys tonight.. guys, pull down your ego and take on your humility when u face your in-laws or potential in-laws..
1) acknowledge the fact they ARE parents of your wife/gf
i dun care if ur partner is fostered or they are not 'good' parents.. the real fact is THEY ARE YOUR ELDERS. they might not be 'open-minded' as you or even your parents, but they are your elders, her parents. remember we talked abt submission to authority, and every authority on earth is appointed by God? So, stop finding excuses for yourself that "respect is to be earned".. even if respect is to be earned, who are you to ask your elders to earn your respect? how much of life have you been through, compared to them?
2) love is an involvement of 2 families
i know it sounds like "romeo and juliet" but it's very true.. love is about giving sacrificially. if u really love your partner, you want her to be happy, dont you? it's clear that being sandwiched is not a joy.. but even if your partner 'resents' her own parents, do you think she'll be happy cos she's 'out of their clutches'? no one likes a broken relationship, esp with own parents. by 'helping her out of the clutches', you are not restoring joy in her heart (in fact you cant!) And pls dun join the vicious cycle of blaming her parents or siding with ur partner for the sake that she is your partner.
guys, you have an important role in every relationship, esp in a family. you are called to LEAD, not to be led! you have a choice - lead her into fullness of joy or - lead her into the whirlpool of hurt
even though you really do not like her parents or family, humble yourself to earn their respect and trust. the process is full of trials and even tedious.. but it stems down to how much you want your partner to be in REAL JOY, to be free from all the bondages of hurt and resentment..
Remember - what goes around comes around.. one day when ur daughter has a bf, do you want him to earn your repect or you earning his?
3) marriage is a 1-time life-long commitment
those who are married will tell you: it's easier to say 'I do' than to stay married. how true, isn't it? many people are willing to spend 1 yr to plan their big day, but takes 1 day to end it off.
for those guys who are not married - how do you know she is 'the one'?
i know there's no such thing as 'the one' cos pple do change, so do your expectations.. but how can u be sure she is the one who will get you away from all other temptations? 10yrs, 20yrs down the road, will you be able to 'resist' outside seductions becos of her?
dun be eager to marry cos u r of the 'right age' (if so, you are obviously not in the right mentality for marriage) or simply cos u 'feel comfortable' with her. of course, i'm nt asking u not to get married. but do give SERIOUS consideration of the commitment behind the word "marriage". You may 'feel right abt it' now, but how abt feeling right 20yrs,30yrs to come?
then again, do not shun from this responsibility of marriage. You are created with a stronger shoulder to take these responsibilities! (to be crude: why do you think God bless male to be stronger than female? it comes with responsibilities to bear!)
Again, i must remind you - marriage is NOT a try-out. you CANNOT just 'try and see how things will turn out'!! be it Christian values or whatsoever.. do you not know broken marriage is a deep stab into the heart, though people may appear ok with it? Is this the happiness you promise to give in your marriage vow?
.. think about it.. be seriously serious when you say 'let's get married'
p/s: dont worry i'm not recalling my hurt cos it's 'annivesary'.. but cos i've just counselled a friend on this issue.. dont freak out! I'm really ok!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
29 Dec 08 - To Doraemon
hi doraemon
(gosh, this is really weird - writting a letter on my own blog!?!)
offline from this blog, there have been some commotion lately.. so many people have been asking me who are you and i'm left without word to reply.. even my lovable cousin is jumping in now to join the 'fun'.. i know you mentioned it does not matter who you are.. but we would really like to know more of you.. at least as a friend, normal friend?? (trust me, all my friends are curious about you - u just came out from nowhere!)..
how about introducing yourself on my blog? if it's of any comfort to you, at least we'll keep this friendship open online and will always know u as 'doraemon' whom we do not know in person.. i know you have your right to ignore this overwhelming request.. but hey, no harm knowing more friends, right? and spare them (us) the suspense.. i think they are checking my blog these days for you, instead for me.. sob sob.. (talk abt transfer of favour)..
personally, i'd prefer to have a open communication too.. i know you prefer to be invisible angel, but we are living in a real world.. by keeping all these suspense (regardless how caring you are), it kinda plants skepticism into people's minds, esp news of online entrapment is on the rise.. dont get me wrong, i'm not saying you are bad guy. on contrary, i feel u have a caring heart though we have not met..
but being a man, i strongly urge u to take a step of faith to be in the open, to be direct.. let our friendship be 'in the light' as we share each other's lives and experiences for those who read my blog.. that is the purpose of this blog, lol..
Gen 1:3-4
Let there be light, and there was light.. light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness
yours sincerely,
J
(gosh, this is really weird - writting a letter on my own blog!?!)
offline from this blog, there have been some commotion lately.. so many people have been asking me who are you and i'm left without word to reply.. even my lovable cousin is jumping in now to join the 'fun'.. i know you mentioned it does not matter who you are.. but we would really like to know more of you.. at least as a friend, normal friend?? (trust me, all my friends are curious about you - u just came out from nowhere!)..
how about introducing yourself on my blog? if it's of any comfort to you, at least we'll keep this friendship open online and will always know u as 'doraemon' whom we do not know in person.. i know you have your right to ignore this overwhelming request.. but hey, no harm knowing more friends, right? and spare them (us) the suspense.. i think they are checking my blog these days for you, instead for me.. sob sob.. (talk abt transfer of favour)..
personally, i'd prefer to have a open communication too.. i know you prefer to be invisible angel, but we are living in a real world.. by keeping all these suspense (regardless how caring you are), it kinda plants skepticism into people's minds, esp news of online entrapment is on the rise.. dont get me wrong, i'm not saying you are bad guy. on contrary, i feel u have a caring heart though we have not met..
but being a man, i strongly urge u to take a step of faith to be in the open, to be direct.. let our friendship be 'in the light' as we share each other's lives and experiences for those who read my blog.. that is the purpose of this blog, lol..
Gen 1:3-4
Let there be light, and there was light.. light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness
yours sincerely,
J
28 Dec 08 - To my dearest cousin
ok,i know it's freaking late to start a blog entry but.. i'm just in awe of what is happening..
i just came back fr a very blessed sharing with my very young cousin (12yrs younger!).. i'm totally honoured to share her life.. into her world, her life situations. Seriously, it's just so amazing how God unfolds His plan to me! He never fails to amaze me with His great ways - His ways are indeed higher than my ways! The ways i can serve Him by sharing my life experience (though it's only 30yrs, i;m not that old).. i'm just so thankful for His plan in my life!
i dun wan to share her situation here (this is not ethical) but i can tell you she has been carrying a lot of unusual stress and unexpected situations alone for past yrs.. so young yet so 'forced' to grow up.. talking to her is such a joy.. she is not her age,instead she is totally sensible and has such a big heart for people ard her.. my heart aches to see her burdens on her boney shoulders, yet glad to see her grown so much thru it all. It's just so amazing how she has come so far to today..I'M SO PROUD OF HER!!
To my dearest >
1) All things happen for a reason - a reason of greater hope and a better future for us. You may not understand why?,how?,when? now, as just I didn't understand why things happened. But trust me, they are allowed to happen in our lives, cos it is in accordance to the Great Plan to serve this greater reason.
2) Do take a rest, learn to take down your burdens from time to time.. as much as people who love you hope to carry those for you, but we cant. learn to choose what your hands can carry - no one can carry all the burdens in life, even though they are good burdens.
3) When u feel weak or cant carry on anymore, seek advice.. learn to 'throw in' some burdens for advice.. we all need encouragement and good support from time to time
4) In every darkness, there is always a beam of light.. even though it's hard to see, but learn to seek for that light (it IS always available) and keep focus on that light. learn to pick a pebble in every situation becos one day, these pebbles will be used to path out someone's life too.
5) My dear, i will always be around for you, be it cousin, friend or counsellor.. Remember, I LOVE YOU.
i just came back fr a very blessed sharing with my very young cousin (12yrs younger!).. i'm totally honoured to share her life.. into her world, her life situations. Seriously, it's just so amazing how God unfolds His plan to me! He never fails to amaze me with His great ways - His ways are indeed higher than my ways! The ways i can serve Him by sharing my life experience (though it's only 30yrs, i;m not that old).. i'm just so thankful for His plan in my life!
i dun wan to share her situation here (this is not ethical) but i can tell you she has been carrying a lot of unusual stress and unexpected situations alone for past yrs.. so young yet so 'forced' to grow up.. talking to her is such a joy.. she is not her age,instead she is totally sensible and has such a big heart for people ard her.. my heart aches to see her burdens on her boney shoulders, yet glad to see her grown so much thru it all. It's just so amazing how she has come so far to today..I'M SO PROUD OF HER!!
To my dearest >
1) All things happen for a reason - a reason of greater hope and a better future for us. You may not understand why?,how?,when? now, as just I didn't understand why things happened. But trust me, they are allowed to happen in our lives, cos it is in accordance to the Great Plan to serve this greater reason.
2) Do take a rest, learn to take down your burdens from time to time.. as much as people who love you hope to carry those for you, but we cant. learn to choose what your hands can carry - no one can carry all the burdens in life, even though they are good burdens.
3) When u feel weak or cant carry on anymore, seek advice.. learn to 'throw in' some burdens for advice.. we all need encouragement and good support from time to time
4) In every darkness, there is always a beam of light.. even though it's hard to see, but learn to seek for that light (it IS always available) and keep focus on that light. learn to pick a pebble in every situation becos one day, these pebbles will be used to path out someone's life too.
5) My dear, i will always be around for you, be it cousin, friend or counsellor.. Remember, I LOVE YOU.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
28 Dec 08 - Twilight
if all things happen for a reason..
i thank Val for her strong recommendation to me to watch 'Twilight'.. knowing it's a love story,i actually tried to avoid it, i never know if it will remind me of him.. i know i'm out of him, but still.. i just want to be careful.. anyway, under her strong urge, i dragged a friend out for this show after her facial appointment (this is NOT a show i can watch alone)
what a show!.. i know Robert Pattinson is gorgeous looking (he's totally COOL) but what really attracts me is the heart of Edward Cullen.. what a man.. he really went all out to verify his 'frustrating' attraction towards Bella Swan and went all the way to protect her! i suppose it's all girls' dream to find a protective harbour to dock, but this guy is totally way too attractive! He's totally so sensitive, totally non-pushy, totally clear on what he wants and totally giving his all to provide and protect the girl he loves.. what a responsible guy with totally cool and witty strategy with a 'stubborn' girl like Bella Swan.. He's really 'what a man!'.. tell me, where to find this type of man?? i dun mind being vampire just to be with him.. ahaha..
my reflections after movie??
well.. i din miss him.. not even think of him, till i was writing this blog.. like what i said - if all things happen for a reason, i know i'm ready.. :) ready to be in love again..(haha.. sounds so dramatic) i went to watch with a 'test water' mentality, and i think i've passed quite well :) *pat on my back,well done J* thanks to Val for putting me to this test..
how do i know i'm ready to love again?
well, cos he is no longer in my mind.. not even a shadow for comparison.. and i'm actually quite looking forward to love again.. (haa.. that really sounds like self-advertising!!) yet i dunno and cant foresee how.. cos i think i've a busy schedule ahead for next 3mths. though my work is pretty non-loading these days esp for the next quarter, but i have decided to serve in 2 ministries (let alone the contemplation of enrolling in SOT), and i have no intention to sacrifice my time with my family(which is already quite limited).. if anything is to happen, it really has to be a miracle of God..
of course i know i have to act on my goal (esp i'm planning my goals for 2009 now! *if u fail to plan, u plan to fail*).. one hand, i think i've sowed enough seeds this yr to know new friends, let alone all the new friends my members are introducing to me.. another hand, if anything is to happen, it WILL happens... Just be patient and WAIT
for now, it's time to put my spiritual walk right with God.. He will make a way when it seems no way :)
Matt 6:33
seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Isa 41:18
I will open rivers in desolate heights, And fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, And the dry land springs of water
i thank Val for her strong recommendation to me to watch 'Twilight'.. knowing it's a love story,i actually tried to avoid it, i never know if it will remind me of him.. i know i'm out of him, but still.. i just want to be careful.. anyway, under her strong urge, i dragged a friend out for this show after her facial appointment (this is NOT a show i can watch alone)
what a show!.. i know Robert Pattinson is gorgeous looking (he's totally COOL) but what really attracts me is the heart of Edward Cullen.. what a man.. he really went all out to verify his 'frustrating' attraction towards Bella Swan and went all the way to protect her! i suppose it's all girls' dream to find a protective harbour to dock, but this guy is totally way too attractive! He's totally so sensitive, totally non-pushy, totally clear on what he wants and totally giving his all to provide and protect the girl he loves.. what a responsible guy with totally cool and witty strategy with a 'stubborn' girl like Bella Swan.. He's really 'what a man!'.. tell me, where to find this type of man?? i dun mind being vampire just to be with him.. ahaha..
my reflections after movie??
well.. i din miss him.. not even think of him, till i was writing this blog.. like what i said - if all things happen for a reason, i know i'm ready.. :) ready to be in love again..(haha.. sounds so dramatic) i went to watch with a 'test water' mentality, and i think i've passed quite well :) *pat on my back,well done J* thanks to Val for putting me to this test..
how do i know i'm ready to love again?
well, cos he is no longer in my mind.. not even a shadow for comparison.. and i'm actually quite looking forward to love again.. (haa.. that really sounds like self-advertising!!) yet i dunno and cant foresee how.. cos i think i've a busy schedule ahead for next 3mths. though my work is pretty non-loading these days esp for the next quarter, but i have decided to serve in 2 ministries (let alone the contemplation of enrolling in SOT), and i have no intention to sacrifice my time with my family(which is already quite limited).. if anything is to happen, it really has to be a miracle of God..
of course i know i have to act on my goal (esp i'm planning my goals for 2009 now! *if u fail to plan, u plan to fail*).. one hand, i think i've sowed enough seeds this yr to know new friends, let alone all the new friends my members are introducing to me.. another hand, if anything is to happen, it WILL happens... Just be patient and WAIT
for now, it's time to put my spiritual walk right with God.. He will make a way when it seems no way :)
Matt 6:33
seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Isa 41:18
I will open rivers in desolate heights, And fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, And the dry land springs of water
Saturday, December 27, 2008
26 Dec 08 - Greatest Christmas celebration
i miss N277!! just came back from greatest n most fun gift exchange gathering!! even any count-down celebration cant beat this!
though we are in different cg now, we came together tonight like a family.. enjoying all the food prepared by our own members (no fast food ok? it's all hardwork and efforts!!) and celebrate birthdays, and the gifts exchange (it's always fun to see them guessing who is their angels) .. and we even watched the football match together!! it's so good to be back 'home'! no sharing of the Word, no special outreach program.. just us - as a family, coming together to celebrate Christmas.. everyone volunteered in different little ways to make tonight such a wonderful night!!
though there're new friends, but there's no need to warm anyone up cos the whole house is already so filled with love to welcome and close bonding of members! we joked, we teased, we can talk about everything under the moon with every little groups.. some even asked me abt the new friend, whom i invited on candlelight service, when i was making my 'interaction rounds'(trust me, my dears, he is JUST A FRIEND).. we drank champange, red wine and toast ourselves silly in such joy while we watched the Liverpool vs Bolton match..(this is one of the few cg that sisters can discuss soccer stuff with such 'passion').. we even had our own 'prayer meeting' against one another's supporting team(we have ManU, Liverpool and Chelsea supporters).. haaa.. it's no longer a cellgroup.. it's a FAMILY!
... it's hard to believe on 26 dec 07, i was still trying to integrate into this cellgroup.. i distinctively remember i was also put in charge of gift exchange then.. though it was fun, but that was a cell group event.. just a cell group... one year passed, i'm still coordinating the exchange program(with more members), but this time it's a family affair.. so much of a 'family' that one of the member actually invited her friend along in hope to 'pull red string' for me!! before they left, she even asked me 'how's the prospect? i'll arrange another meeting again' .. That IS how family-bonded we are! So nosy yet so lovable!!
no wonder it's hard for some of us to move into the new cg, cos N277 is really our family! with all the babies, toddlers and even dogs running around, the whole place is so alive with love and joy. Who wld want to move out from this love?.. i really thank God for putting me in N277 - be able to learn from Valerie, to share life with Delia and ChiaYee, to have so many 'siblings' in this family.. though we are all in the late 20s to early 30s range, this is the place where our love,support and counsel is.. i had several memorable cellgroups before.. but those are lovable cellgroups, this is lovable FAMILY..
I LOVE YOU,N277!!
though we are in different cg now, we came together tonight like a family.. enjoying all the food prepared by our own members (no fast food ok? it's all hardwork and efforts!!) and celebrate birthdays, and the gifts exchange (it's always fun to see them guessing who is their angels) .. and we even watched the football match together!! it's so good to be back 'home'! no sharing of the Word, no special outreach program.. just us - as a family, coming together to celebrate Christmas.. everyone volunteered in different little ways to make tonight such a wonderful night!!
though there're new friends, but there's no need to warm anyone up cos the whole house is already so filled with love to welcome and close bonding of members! we joked, we teased, we can talk about everything under the moon with every little groups.. some even asked me abt the new friend, whom i invited on candlelight service, when i was making my 'interaction rounds'(trust me, my dears, he is JUST A FRIEND).. we drank champange, red wine and toast ourselves silly in such joy while we watched the Liverpool vs Bolton match..(this is one of the few cg that sisters can discuss soccer stuff with such 'passion').. we even had our own 'prayer meeting' against one another's supporting team(we have ManU, Liverpool and Chelsea supporters).. haaa.. it's no longer a cellgroup.. it's a FAMILY!
... it's hard to believe on 26 dec 07, i was still trying to integrate into this cellgroup.. i distinctively remember i was also put in charge of gift exchange then.. though it was fun, but that was a cell group event.. just a cell group... one year passed, i'm still coordinating the exchange program(with more members), but this time it's a family affair.. so much of a 'family' that one of the member actually invited her friend along in hope to 'pull red string' for me!! before they left, she even asked me 'how's the prospect? i'll arrange another meeting again' .. That IS how family-bonded we are! So nosy yet so lovable!!
no wonder it's hard for some of us to move into the new cg, cos N277 is really our family! with all the babies, toddlers and even dogs running around, the whole place is so alive with love and joy. Who wld want to move out from this love?.. i really thank God for putting me in N277 - be able to learn from Valerie, to share life with Delia and ChiaYee, to have so many 'siblings' in this family.. though we are all in the late 20s to early 30s range, this is the place where our love,support and counsel is.. i had several memorable cellgroups before.. but those are lovable cellgroups, this is lovable FAMILY..
I LOVE YOU,N277!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
25 Dec 08 - Christmas Day
what a good Christmas should be - spending quality time with family and.. blogging??!
1) i had such wonderful Christmas eve!
Christmas drama was so simple and GREAT! they really surprised the congregation with the angels 'flew' down from behind to the stage! AWESOME story on how disappointing events can lead to the Great Event - Birth of Jesus Christ.. when the angels screwed up on the whole big operation plan of God, Jesus came without any crib for His Head, though He is Lord at His Birth... how inappropriate welcome for the King of Kings! But yet, all these are in God's plan.. He watches over every events in our life to lead us in His Greater Purpose! How AWESOME is our God!!
Praise to God who gave even His Only Begotten Son to save us, knowing very well we will reject, mock and even plot His Death in such humiliating manner!
Great is His Love for all on earth!
2) i have so many helpful people ard me..
last night someone fr the singles' grp asked me 'why are u still single when u r so sociable?'.. this morning my mum told me that her beautician has been trying to get hold of me to introduce a guy to me.. ( it's so funny cos they are more anxious than i am) with both my younger sis attached, the crux seems to be on me now.. whenever we ve family gathering (ie now?!),their bfs always 'bully' n tease me.. looking at them, i wonder if my future partner will be as 'childish' as them.. hhaa..
sometimes i wonder if i'd find the person anyway..leave my requirement list aside, it's already quite hard to find that person..
like i've shared with that someone last night.. firstly, it's nt easy finding someone of same vision (esp i'm quite demanding).. secondly, i know i've the inclination to lead (i really try not to), hence he must 'earn my respect' to follow him.. thirdly, he must be able to keep up with my ever-racing thoughts n topics including political science... trust me, that is really tough enough on this poor guy.. let alone he has to fulfil my requirement list..
I know i've been advising the singles to 'loosen up their criteria' but.. well..ok, i might consider loosen up my criteria IF he shares my vision.. ahah.. trust me, that's a challenging vision to share :)
does this sound like i've advertising myself??... ??
3) i have received more presents than i give..
this year is so stressful!! I received more presents than i give... to the extend that i detered people from coming to my office area (they'd leave present on my desk), to the extend i told my cell members need not prepare any gift for me, to the extend i've messed up my room with 6 big bags of big n small gifts!! Talk about abundance, my God is always blessing me with more-than-enough! Even my god-bro is trying to bless me with a present!! I'm so stress, yet SO LOVED!
Thank you, everyone!! I love you people too!
ok that's it, people.. for today.. i have to clean up my messy room now.. Have a Blessed Christmas!
1) i had such wonderful Christmas eve!
Christmas drama was so simple and GREAT! they really surprised the congregation with the angels 'flew' down from behind to the stage! AWESOME story on how disappointing events can lead to the Great Event - Birth of Jesus Christ.. when the angels screwed up on the whole big operation plan of God, Jesus came without any crib for His Head, though He is Lord at His Birth... how inappropriate welcome for the King of Kings! But yet, all these are in God's plan.. He watches over every events in our life to lead us in His Greater Purpose! How AWESOME is our God!!
Praise to God who gave even His Only Begotten Son to save us, knowing very well we will reject, mock and even plot His Death in such humiliating manner!
Great is His Love for all on earth!
2) i have so many helpful people ard me..
last night someone fr the singles' grp asked me 'why are u still single when u r so sociable?'.. this morning my mum told me that her beautician has been trying to get hold of me to introduce a guy to me.. ( it's so funny cos they are more anxious than i am) with both my younger sis attached, the crux seems to be on me now.. whenever we ve family gathering (ie now?!),their bfs always 'bully' n tease me.. looking at them, i wonder if my future partner will be as 'childish' as them.. hhaa..
sometimes i wonder if i'd find the person anyway..leave my requirement list aside, it's already quite hard to find that person..
like i've shared with that someone last night.. firstly, it's nt easy finding someone of same vision (esp i'm quite demanding).. secondly, i know i've the inclination to lead (i really try not to), hence he must 'earn my respect' to follow him.. thirdly, he must be able to keep up with my ever-racing thoughts n topics including political science... trust me, that is really tough enough on this poor guy.. let alone he has to fulfil my requirement list..
I know i've been advising the singles to 'loosen up their criteria' but.. well..ok, i might consider loosen up my criteria IF he shares my vision.. ahah.. trust me, that's a challenging vision to share :)
does this sound like i've advertising myself??... ??
3) i have received more presents than i give..
this year is so stressful!! I received more presents than i give... to the extend that i detered people from coming to my office area (they'd leave present on my desk), to the extend i told my cell members need not prepare any gift for me, to the extend i've messed up my room with 6 big bags of big n small gifts!! Talk about abundance, my God is always blessing me with more-than-enough! Even my god-bro is trying to bless me with a present!! I'm so stress, yet SO LOVED!
Thank you, everyone!! I love you people too!
ok that's it, people.. for today.. i have to clean up my messy room now.. Have a Blessed Christmas!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
23 Dec 08 - Carolling with SCC200!
This year is really a BLESSED Christmas for me!
I'm supposed to go orchard to get a last-minute gift but the thought of the maddening last-mintue crowd really put me off.. hence i came home.. on my way from my bus-stop to my block, i met SCC200!! Katherine, Arnold, Louis and gang! they are on their way to home carolling and i'm 'dragged' into their visitation schedule!! in fact, my tongue agreed to join them faster than my mind can decide..what a divine appointment! Though they nagged at me for being MIA, but i know they miss me.. esp when louis pulled me aside to ask about my depression.. (dun ever underestimate those aunties - they are full of love n concern!)
Though i'm so hungry and tired after work, there is no greater joy than to share the joy of Christmas to the sick and home-bound.. We went around some Christian homes in my neighbourhood.. it's just so nice to be part of the choir again! It's so nice to sing carols, to visit neighbours whom I've never known for the 10yrs+ of staying here.. The joy of singing, the joy of bringing Christmas to the poor and sickly! It's been exact one year since I've known them! how nice it'd be to join them for their full schedule next yr...(if only i'm not busy in Dec09..)
Christmas is a time to love, not to be missed!
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. ~W.T. Ellis
I'm supposed to go orchard to get a last-minute gift but the thought of the maddening last-mintue crowd really put me off.. hence i came home.. on my way from my bus-stop to my block, i met SCC200!! Katherine, Arnold, Louis and gang! they are on their way to home carolling and i'm 'dragged' into their visitation schedule!! in fact, my tongue agreed to join them faster than my mind can decide..what a divine appointment! Though they nagged at me for being MIA, but i know they miss me.. esp when louis pulled me aside to ask about my depression.. (dun ever underestimate those aunties - they are full of love n concern!)
Though i'm so hungry and tired after work, there is no greater joy than to share the joy of Christmas to the sick and home-bound.. We went around some Christian homes in my neighbourhood.. it's just so nice to be part of the choir again! It's so nice to sing carols, to visit neighbours whom I've never known for the 10yrs+ of staying here.. The joy of singing, the joy of bringing Christmas to the poor and sickly! It's been exact one year since I've known them! how nice it'd be to join them for their full schedule next yr...(if only i'm not busy in Dec09..)
Christmas is a time to love, not to be missed!
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. ~W.T. Ellis
23 Dec 08 - Who is the real J?
how fateful.. after raising the reflection qn last night, someone msn me and planted a pondering seed in J..
those who know J .. J is
1) very kiddish, totally unlike her age..
2) very quiet lady
3) very talkative (as that someone said last night)
Wow,, talk about faces J really have the extremes..
ok i admit i'm a very PR person.. PR in a sense i'm usually one of the people in the group to 'warm up' the interaction (hence talkative impression). But hey, if no one warms up the group to keep interactions going, wont it be very awkward? or when i'm new to the group, how anti-social i would be if i keep to myself and only wait to be asked? i believe in rising up to the occasion.. of course if there's someone warming up the group well, i'd gladly step down.. (afterall i really dun belong to the 'spotlight')
speak about kiddish, maybe cos i've always been the eldest in the family line, i have to mingle with younger people.. but now that these younger people have grown up, this 'gift' of being young seems to be kiddish in their eyes (even my 12-yrs younger cousin can nag at me!) or maybe some parts (in fact, many parts) of me still prefers to be a child (that's a great childhood dream).. nothing wrong being a child, as long as he/she knows how to behave in the right time, right? dun worry, i wont pull your legs and wail in public for my Birthday present :P
then what is J really like? well.. i regard myself to be..wait, i have thses descriptions..look out for my responses in brackets().
~Mental Attitude~
Usually intelligent, you can see through the motives of a person. You have the ability to read the character of a person after a few meetings. (I do??.. that sounds scary.. beware you people!)
Blessed with a very high level of concentration and understanding, you can easily get to the root of any problem. (this i agree - if i need to get something done, you better DND lest i'd snap at you, everything can wait till i've gotten the whole picture)
~General Nature~
You can be quite rigid in your views. You make friends with a lot of difficulty, but once made, the friendship is sincere and forever. (Totally disagree - I make friends easily with all sincerity but cant seem to 'keep' them into my inner circle)
You are definitely not the kind of person who will back-bite and work against your friends. True to your words and feelings, you are not only sincere in front of a person but also even in his absence. (I leave this for you people to comment.. *better say YES!*)
You are drawn to meditation. You can be a loner and may lead an almost hermit-like existence at some stage in life. (True - that is the 'real' me.. really..)
You will also have a lot of interest in the material life. You may be inclined to accumulate a lot during your lifetime. (I'm nearly broke now.. does this make cents?)
You are a systematic and organised worker because you must get to the root of the concept before embarking on anything. (didn't i just agree so?)
Your strengths and weaknesses are not read very easily. The world knows and understands only that what you want to make it understand! (hey, i've a reputation to be 'read like a book' to maintian, ok?)
~Romance~
You seek refined and intelligent partners. Quite unassuming, you are not likely to boss over your partner. In fact, being a great student of human nature you will be able to exert a lot of control on your partner. (Haa.. that's VERY true i'm a great student of human nature!.. but control?? unto what you want others to undo to you..)
You start a bit late but pick up fast. You soon learn very ingenious way of getting to know men and can lead them on to a merry chase! This satisfies your ego. But, when you do make the final choice, it is with great care. Once you get serious with a man you will be totally devoted to him. (wow, this thing is freaking me out.. how true.. but how late is late?)
You will very rarely be jealous of other women.You will seldom have time for such thoughts, but if you find him insincere you can leave him without a second thought. (true- i've too many things in my mind to care abt 'competitions'..let's simplify things and Let God be my Judge)
Not interested in sex for the sake of it, you can be led into it with a lot of patience. (hey.. we are so NOT going into that area for discussion..Totally P&C!! SKIP!!!!)
~Marriage~
You marry late, but divorces are very rare with you. Your marriage will be considered as a model marriage. One, you have the ability to see through your partner and decide accordingly. Secondly, you are generally very beautiful. You are endowed with a charm which keeps your husband tied down to you for eternity! (Amen, that's a GREAT prophesy! Marriage is SACRED to start with!)
You can handle your home and children in the most unconventional way.You may try strange combinations and arrangements and also make them look good. (No comment - not there yet)
You will be able to handle guests in a most remarkable manner and can hold forth on any subject on earth. You can converse with children as if you are one of them and you can talk to an eighty-year-old as if you are of the same age group. (Of course! i'm very PR and versatile person, remember??)
.. ok that's it, people.. who is J to you?? (I think I can start a pool of votes on this :D )
those who know J .. J is
1) very kiddish, totally unlike her age..
2) very quiet lady
3) very talkative (as that someone said last night)
Wow,, talk about faces J really have the extremes..
ok i admit i'm a very PR person.. PR in a sense i'm usually one of the people in the group to 'warm up' the interaction (hence talkative impression). But hey, if no one warms up the group to keep interactions going, wont it be very awkward? or when i'm new to the group, how anti-social i would be if i keep to myself and only wait to be asked? i believe in rising up to the occasion.. of course if there's someone warming up the group well, i'd gladly step down.. (afterall i really dun belong to the 'spotlight')
speak about kiddish, maybe cos i've always been the eldest in the family line, i have to mingle with younger people.. but now that these younger people have grown up, this 'gift' of being young seems to be kiddish in their eyes (even my 12-yrs younger cousin can nag at me!) or maybe some parts (in fact, many parts) of me still prefers to be a child (that's a great childhood dream).. nothing wrong being a child, as long as he/she knows how to behave in the right time, right? dun worry, i wont pull your legs and wail in public for my Birthday present :P
then what is J really like? well.. i regard myself to be..wait, i have thses descriptions..look out for my responses in brackets().
~Mental Attitude~
Usually intelligent, you can see through the motives of a person. You have the ability to read the character of a person after a few meetings. (I do??.. that sounds scary.. beware you people!)
Blessed with a very high level of concentration and understanding, you can easily get to the root of any problem. (this i agree - if i need to get something done, you better DND lest i'd snap at you, everything can wait till i've gotten the whole picture)
~General Nature~
You can be quite rigid in your views. You make friends with a lot of difficulty, but once made, the friendship is sincere and forever. (Totally disagree - I make friends easily with all sincerity but cant seem to 'keep' them into my inner circle)
You are definitely not the kind of person who will back-bite and work against your friends. True to your words and feelings, you are not only sincere in front of a person but also even in his absence. (I leave this for you people to comment.. *better say YES!*)
You are drawn to meditation. You can be a loner and may lead an almost hermit-like existence at some stage in life. (True - that is the 'real' me.. really..)
You will also have a lot of interest in the material life. You may be inclined to accumulate a lot during your lifetime. (I'm nearly broke now.. does this make cents?)
You are a systematic and organised worker because you must get to the root of the concept before embarking on anything. (didn't i just agree so?)
Your strengths and weaknesses are not read very easily. The world knows and understands only that what you want to make it understand! (hey, i've a reputation to be 'read like a book' to maintian, ok?)
~Romance~
You seek refined and intelligent partners. Quite unassuming, you are not likely to boss over your partner. In fact, being a great student of human nature you will be able to exert a lot of control on your partner. (Haa.. that's VERY true i'm a great student of human nature!.. but control?? unto what you want others to undo to you..)
You start a bit late but pick up fast. You soon learn very ingenious way of getting to know men and can lead them on to a merry chase! This satisfies your ego. But, when you do make the final choice, it is with great care. Once you get serious with a man you will be totally devoted to him. (wow, this thing is freaking me out.. how true.. but how late is late?)
You will very rarely be jealous of other women.You will seldom have time for such thoughts, but if you find him insincere you can leave him without a second thought. (true- i've too many things in my mind to care abt 'competitions'..let's simplify things and Let God be my Judge)
Not interested in sex for the sake of it, you can be led into it with a lot of patience. (hey.. we are so NOT going into that area for discussion..Totally P&C!! SKIP!!!!)
~Marriage~
You marry late, but divorces are very rare with you. Your marriage will be considered as a model marriage. One, you have the ability to see through your partner and decide accordingly. Secondly, you are generally very beautiful. You are endowed with a charm which keeps your husband tied down to you for eternity! (Amen, that's a GREAT prophesy! Marriage is SACRED to start with!)
You can handle your home and children in the most unconventional way.You may try strange combinations and arrangements and also make them look good. (No comment - not there yet)
You will be able to handle guests in a most remarkable manner and can hold forth on any subject on earth. You can converse with children as if you are one of them and you can talk to an eighty-year-old as if you are of the same age group. (Of course! i'm very PR and versatile person, remember??)
.. ok that's it, people.. who is J to you?? (I think I can start a pool of votes on this :D )
22 Dec 08 - Different faces to meet the different faces
well, tonight dinner with my gers really loosen me up, esp after past weeks of 'heavy responsibilities'.. though i'm the eldest in the group,i'm also the 'childish' of all (in fact, i really doubt they remember i'm years older than them).. .. looking at them,i saw myself.. so professional, so prim and proper.. being with them, i just feel so at ease, so kiddish if i may put it.. dont get me wrong,of course i'm not a kid, but sometimes i can be real kiddish.. just like my ever faithful boyfriend - hugo, he's ever so alert in protecting me.. even when he's playing in the field, he's always on a lookout for me.. yet when he's at home or by my side, he's such a pampered son who can be such incredible brat..(like mother like son??) haaa..
I like this phrase.. by Elliot (i forgot how to spell her name) "we put different faces to meet the different faces we meet each day" (how true..)
have u ever wondered who is the 'true' person behind every person you meet?
for those who know me personally,the first impression of J is usually icy and 'high-maintainence'. when u get to know J after the ice-breaking, she can surprise you with blunt friendliness and 'active interaction'. But have u ever wondered who is the real J behind all these words, behind all these energy?
well, i do.. i question not just on myself, but also on other people.. why cant people be themselves when they befriend people? someone once commented that i'm just like a book - easily read.. what's wrong with that? at least i'm true to myself.. i enjoy all friendship, be it new or old.. i dun like to 'hide' behind a front (though i often give people a false impression).. of course we must behave appropriately to environments but if u know J, i like to speak how i feel, and i'm learning to mix that with some level of tactfulness..
I like this phrase.. by Elliot (i forgot how to spell her name) "we put different faces to meet the different faces we meet each day" (how true..)
have u ever wondered who is the 'true' person behind every person you meet?
for those who know me personally,the first impression of J is usually icy and 'high-maintainence'. when u get to know J after the ice-breaking, she can surprise you with blunt friendliness and 'active interaction'. But have u ever wondered who is the real J behind all these words, behind all these energy?
well, i do.. i question not just on myself, but also on other people.. why cant people be themselves when they befriend people? someone once commented that i'm just like a book - easily read.. what's wrong with that? at least i'm true to myself.. i enjoy all friendship, be it new or old.. i dun like to 'hide' behind a front (though i often give people a false impression).. of course we must behave appropriately to environments but if u know J, i like to speak how i feel, and i'm learning to mix that with some level of tactfulness..
Sunday, December 21, 2008
21 Dec 08 - I'm going Youth Service!!
My Father in Heaven is just SO AMAZING!!
1)confession: i'm running rather low on budget with all the gifts exchange gatherings .. (i've indeed overspent on some gifts)
just this morning, i was planning my budget and wondering how am i going to survive till my pay day (though it's just few days away).. by faith, i know God will forgive my poor expediture discipline; by faith i know God will provide (trust me, He has ALWAYS be able to provide in ways I cannot foresee..i seldom ve to worry abt being penniless :) thanks be to God!) True indeed- God came and proven He is the Provider!
after all the morning hectic for today's 冬至, my mum came into my room and blessed me! She just won lottery last night, hence wanna share her joy.. WOW! God is never late, always just-in-time, in His perfect timing! I was so happy! so happy to the extend that i just opened my mouth n praise God in front of my parents, and even explained the logic of God's blessings upon the family and everyone in the household! Of course, physical blessings come from my mum's hands when she gave me the note, but the whole affair of being blessed is all from God's hands! though i'm happy that my budget issue is taken care, but i'm more happy that i'm able to praise God and explain His love n blessings to my parents! How GREAT is our God!!
2) remember i told u abt my most lovable cousin who hoped i could accompany her to church Christmas celebration? well, last night she sms me that she might not be able to leave her house as they are busy preparing for 冬至.. ok, what can i say? I just have to keep trusting in God's timing..
later this morning, she sms again.. she really want to go and see how Christians celebrate Christmas in church!! WOW WOW!! I'm very encouraged by her!! I can understand how 'difficult' for her to go to church yet she has the interest and the initiative to want to go!! J,you are really of little faith to what God can do!
with the tight 45mins allowance for me to get my butt to Expo, i still have to go online to affirm the service timing.. only to realise she's invited to attend YOUTH service in FCBC (which is next hall to CHC!) Wah! I'm going to YOUTH service!! So exciting!! I really thank God for putting everything in place in His Plan! I'm so excited!! .. i gtg NOW! :)
Praise to God in the Highest!!
**********
my knee really hurts,it;s blue-black now :( .. cos i knocked it against something when i was rushing to get out of house in 5mins! talk abt always be prepared to fly.. J really can do so.. of course with the right cause!
1)confession: i'm running rather low on budget with all the gifts exchange gatherings .. (i've indeed overspent on some gifts)
just this morning, i was planning my budget and wondering how am i going to survive till my pay day (though it's just few days away).. by faith, i know God will forgive my poor expediture discipline; by faith i know God will provide (trust me, He has ALWAYS be able to provide in ways I cannot foresee..i seldom ve to worry abt being penniless :) thanks be to God!) True indeed- God came and proven He is the Provider!
after all the morning hectic for today's 冬至, my mum came into my room and blessed me! She just won lottery last night, hence wanna share her joy.. WOW! God is never late, always just-in-time, in His perfect timing! I was so happy! so happy to the extend that i just opened my mouth n praise God in front of my parents, and even explained the logic of God's blessings upon the family and everyone in the household! Of course, physical blessings come from my mum's hands when she gave me the note, but the whole affair of being blessed is all from God's hands! though i'm happy that my budget issue is taken care, but i'm more happy that i'm able to praise God and explain His love n blessings to my parents! How GREAT is our God!!
2) remember i told u abt my most lovable cousin who hoped i could accompany her to church Christmas celebration? well, last night she sms me that she might not be able to leave her house as they are busy preparing for 冬至.. ok, what can i say? I just have to keep trusting in God's timing..
later this morning, she sms again.. she really want to go and see how Christians celebrate Christmas in church!! WOW WOW!! I'm very encouraged by her!! I can understand how 'difficult' for her to go to church yet she has the interest and the initiative to want to go!! J,you are really of little faith to what God can do!
with the tight 45mins allowance for me to get my butt to Expo, i still have to go online to affirm the service timing.. only to realise she's invited to attend YOUTH service in FCBC (which is next hall to CHC!) Wah! I'm going to YOUTH service!! So exciting!! I really thank God for putting everything in place in His Plan! I'm so excited!! .. i gtg NOW! :)
Praise to God in the Highest!!
**********
my knee really hurts,it;s blue-black now :( .. cos i knocked it against something when i was rushing to get out of house in 5mins! talk abt always be prepared to fly.. J really can do so.. of course with the right cause!
20 Dec 08 - Appointment of Authority
people, let's not talk about 'earning respect' first..
instead, let us acknowledge the fact that leaders are appointed by God.
even your parents,ur elder siblings and ur boss are appointed by God to have authority over you. be it a good leadership or not,they ARE appointed by God. (who are you to challenge the Creator's appointment on His creations?)
i believe everyone is learning in this life journey.. everyone is learning to balance life to take on new responsibilities; learning to take on the expected role tasks.. just like no one knows how to be a good father,until he takes time n effort to adjust his lifestyle, to manage and to take on the expected roles of a good father. all these require time and patience, even forgiveness as we 'trial n error' on one another..
of course u can 'voice out' but have you done your part of being submissive to this appointment of authority?
the person may not 'earn' your respect, but have you earned his respect?
so what if you have given 'chances' for him to earn your respect? just like the 5 languages of love, your language of 'giving chance' might not be his language hence he dun understand it at all..
didn't i mention before that we are all raw stones? the Word of God says we are iron sharpening iron. no one is a perfect fit for another. it all requires a process of polishing before we 'try to' fit in. all things happen for a reason. A reason to give u a better future and greater hope.
let this be a good polishing experience.. there's so much we can learn from one another during this process, instead of complaining..
let us learn to see the stars in the dark..
Rom 13:1
Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.
Jer 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
instead, let us acknowledge the fact that leaders are appointed by God.
even your parents,ur elder siblings and ur boss are appointed by God to have authority over you. be it a good leadership or not,they ARE appointed by God. (who are you to challenge the Creator's appointment on His creations?)
i believe everyone is learning in this life journey.. everyone is learning to balance life to take on new responsibilities; learning to take on the expected role tasks.. just like no one knows how to be a good father,until he takes time n effort to adjust his lifestyle, to manage and to take on the expected roles of a good father. all these require time and patience, even forgiveness as we 'trial n error' on one another..
of course u can 'voice out' but have you done your part of being submissive to this appointment of authority?
the person may not 'earn' your respect, but have you earned his respect?
so what if you have given 'chances' for him to earn your respect? just like the 5 languages of love, your language of 'giving chance' might not be his language hence he dun understand it at all..
didn't i mention before that we are all raw stones? the Word of God says we are iron sharpening iron. no one is a perfect fit for another. it all requires a process of polishing before we 'try to' fit in. all things happen for a reason. A reason to give u a better future and greater hope.
let this be a good polishing experience.. there's so much we can learn from one another during this process, instead of complaining..
let us learn to see the stars in the dark..
Rom 13:1
Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.
Jer 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
20 Dec 08 - 春風她吻上我的臉,告訴我現在是春天
have i ever told u how i love mornings?
i love my weekend mornings with my parents..
3 of us (my 2 sis usually wake up late) having breakfast at our nearby markets,then i will explore the wet markets with my mum (that's why my 2 naughty sis call me 'auntie').. i really like wet markets - more interpersonal, compared to supermarkets.. every stall knows everyone and it's always nice to follow my mum snaking ard those little lanes, greeting those uncles n aunties along the way.. (trust me, my mum is really a very PR person.. every 5mins, she'll bump into someone she knows) in the end, we will end up buying all the food n ingredients for the day n week.. then we will walk back home and bath the dogs, before we call it a morning.
why i'm writing this? of course not to make u envious (which i think u will)..
cos SPRING IS COMING! I love to have these cool winds blowing at me in the warmth of the morning.. just close ur eyes and enjoy the wind (esp i'm such a 'lover of the wind') those 'spring winds' are really so relaxing!! i can just sit in the open all day, just to enjoy these winds.. 春風她吻上我的臉,告訴我現在是春天..
in the midst of all exiting happenings, these winds are really blessings to my soul.. esp while you are having breakfast with family (and dogs).. it just warms my heart.. like a gentle hand stroke from God to say 'Thank you, have a rest' :)
God is good all the time!
i love my weekend mornings with my parents..
3 of us (my 2 sis usually wake up late) having breakfast at our nearby markets,then i will explore the wet markets with my mum (that's why my 2 naughty sis call me 'auntie').. i really like wet markets - more interpersonal, compared to supermarkets.. every stall knows everyone and it's always nice to follow my mum snaking ard those little lanes, greeting those uncles n aunties along the way.. (trust me, my mum is really a very PR person.. every 5mins, she'll bump into someone she knows) in the end, we will end up buying all the food n ingredients for the day n week.. then we will walk back home and bath the dogs, before we call it a morning.
why i'm writing this? of course not to make u envious (which i think u will)..
cos SPRING IS COMING! I love to have these cool winds blowing at me in the warmth of the morning.. just close ur eyes and enjoy the wind (esp i'm such a 'lover of the wind') those 'spring winds' are really so relaxing!! i can just sit in the open all day, just to enjoy these winds.. 春風她吻上我的臉,告訴我現在是春天..
in the midst of all exiting happenings, these winds are really blessings to my soul.. esp while you are having breakfast with family (and dogs).. it just warms my heart.. like a gentle hand stroke from God to say 'Thank you, have a rest' :)
God is good all the time!
19 Dec 08 - The older the guy, the less initiative he is
i really had such exciting day today - last minute work requests,office Christmas celebration and helping out in another cg.. sometimes i just hope i can drive/ride a bike so i can get fr place to place faster.. office celebration was so happening and fun that some of us, who were supposed to leave early @ 7pm, actually ended up leaving at 8pm.. in the end i had to rush from office to the cg i've agreed to help in, feeling abit tipsy after some glasses of refreshing self-prepared cocktail (it's very NICE!)
i dunno why but we ended up having a 'buzz time' after MyHope programme.. what a gd topic - "The older the guy, the less initiative he is to ask girl out." we even 'concluded' that guys over age of 35 are only 20% initiative... :D
personally, i tend to agree too.. the guys who 'dare' to approach me these days are those younger ones (guess i ve the big sister's love?).. hence cant blame me to think gentlemen tend to be more 'introvert' while ladies are more 'extrovert' as both grow in age. i like what was shared - girls are taking more initiative to 'drop more hints' these days. (again, i wonder what is happening to the guys these days?).. but are we, single ladies, more 'desperate' these days? no, i dun think so.. in fact, there are increasing number of single ladies who are not planning to have any male partner since they can lead their lives so freely nowadays, not to forget that we are financially independent too..
but will J 'drop hint'? (i tot we've gone thru this before, recently??)
ok, let's face it. i'm still an ordinary female, perhaps with some level of pride. i do expect initiation to come from the guy but i'd also drop hint. however, if he dun get my hint,so be it. maybe he's just nt for me. maybe only time will tell.. being the J in me,i know i can try to 'forgo' this guy if he's nt responding.. ok, i know i'm demanding when it comes to courtship.. but hey, courtship is always the most memorable of all relationships. Guys tend to be 'lazy' after courtship, dont you agree? so, it's rightful to be demanding while it lasts :)
i dunno why but we ended up having a 'buzz time' after MyHope programme.. what a gd topic - "The older the guy, the less initiative he is to ask girl out." we even 'concluded' that guys over age of 35 are only 20% initiative... :D
personally, i tend to agree too.. the guys who 'dare' to approach me these days are those younger ones (guess i ve the big sister's love?).. hence cant blame me to think gentlemen tend to be more 'introvert' while ladies are more 'extrovert' as both grow in age. i like what was shared - girls are taking more initiative to 'drop more hints' these days. (again, i wonder what is happening to the guys these days?).. but are we, single ladies, more 'desperate' these days? no, i dun think so.. in fact, there are increasing number of single ladies who are not planning to have any male partner since they can lead their lives so freely nowadays, not to forget that we are financially independent too..
but will J 'drop hint'? (i tot we've gone thru this before, recently??)
ok, let's face it. i'm still an ordinary female, perhaps with some level of pride. i do expect initiation to come from the guy but i'd also drop hint. however, if he dun get my hint,so be it. maybe he's just nt for me. maybe only time will tell.. being the J in me,i know i can try to 'forgo' this guy if he's nt responding.. ok, i know i'm demanding when it comes to courtship.. but hey, courtship is always the most memorable of all relationships. Guys tend to be 'lazy' after courtship, dont you agree? so, it's rightful to be demanding while it lasts :)
Friday, December 19, 2008
18 Dec 08 - All things work for His Glory
i know some of u want to read more of my 'inner feelings' / reflections instead of reading.. I LOVE JESUS!
hey, this is my blog.. nothing wrong of proclaiming my love for my God here, right? at least, i dun start to preach 'sermon' here..i dun mind being fool for God..
hope u r ready? here i go again - I LOVE JESUS!
did u know what i just received?!? a sms fr my most doted young cousin!! her friend invited her for CHC Sunday candlelight service, and she hope i can go with her!! though i'm of Saturday service, how can i say no to this SUPER GREAT invitation?!?! Even if Sat service ends late, or i've to camp over in Expo, i will do just that!
I'm so HAPPY!! God is indeed working in our midst, has everything in His Plan, even though we cannot see His Hand! Slowly but assuredly, all things work for His Glory!
hey, this is my blog.. nothing wrong of proclaiming my love for my God here, right? at least, i dun start to preach 'sermon' here..i dun mind being fool for God..
hope u r ready? here i go again - I LOVE JESUS!
did u know what i just received?!? a sms fr my most doted young cousin!! her friend invited her for CHC Sunday candlelight service, and she hope i can go with her!! though i'm of Saturday service, how can i say no to this SUPER GREAT invitation?!?! Even if Sat service ends late, or i've to camp over in Expo, i will do just that!
I'm so HAPPY!! God is indeed working in our midst, has everything in His Plan, even though we cannot see His Hand! Slowly but assuredly, all things work for His Glory!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
17 Dec 08 - What a morning (again!)..
Firstly I want to thank God that I've not been coughing since Monday, though I'm on fast :P
Thank God for strengthening my body!
To be honest, I'm guilty of lazy evangelism. I know evangelism is essential part of the Great Commission, but.. maybe cos I've always feel inadequate in my Biblical theology or maybe cos I prefer 'building' role than to be 'casting nets'.. anyway, I've been praying for this deficiency and God really answers fast!
Yesterday, out of no where, someone 'tried his luck' to meet me on Sat so I 'tried my blessings' and invited him for Sat Candlelight service.. And he agreed! though I've not even seen this person before! Well, when things are in His plan, what can I say?! He's a person whom Jesus loves so much and sacrificed His life for, right? Every seed sowed is an opportunity for harvest :)
I have this good friend who has been very oppressed in her new workplace.. I know her situation but didn't really understand her plight till she called to share this morning.. (Talk abt reaching out, God really send people to me!) Her spiritual walk was so affected by her work oppression, till she turned her eyes to Jesus yesterday… She sought help and He spoke right into her heart! Praise God! She's so excited that she shared non-stop with me for 40mins! She has decided to get herself planted in church, in His Word (one touch from God will indeed transform your life!!) I'm so happy for her, though I'm sorry that I was not ard for her during her challenging days..
I strongly feel the need for her to be planted in church, to be planted in cellgroup, to be in Godly fellowship (single burning charcoal cant produce fire alone).. Something pushed me to 'try my blessings' again.. And she agreed! Though she's from another church (ie another part of Body of Christ), I'm so happy for her!! At least she can find support from my cell, while she makes the effort to find a cell in her church.. Babe, I'm so happy for you, really!
God really answers prayers FAST, if only you'd pray :)
Thank God for strengthening my body!
To be honest, I'm guilty of lazy evangelism. I know evangelism is essential part of the Great Commission, but.. maybe cos I've always feel inadequate in my Biblical theology or maybe cos I prefer 'building' role than to be 'casting nets'.. anyway, I've been praying for this deficiency and God really answers fast!
Yesterday, out of no where, someone 'tried his luck' to meet me on Sat so I 'tried my blessings' and invited him for Sat Candlelight service.. And he agreed! though I've not even seen this person before! Well, when things are in His plan, what can I say?! He's a person whom Jesus loves so much and sacrificed His life for, right? Every seed sowed is an opportunity for harvest :)
I have this good friend who has been very oppressed in her new workplace.. I know her situation but didn't really understand her plight till she called to share this morning.. (Talk abt reaching out, God really send people to me!) Her spiritual walk was so affected by her work oppression, till she turned her eyes to Jesus yesterday… She sought help and He spoke right into her heart! Praise God! She's so excited that she shared non-stop with me for 40mins! She has decided to get herself planted in church, in His Word (one touch from God will indeed transform your life!!) I'm so happy for her, though I'm sorry that I was not ard for her during her challenging days..
I strongly feel the need for her to be planted in church, to be planted in cellgroup, to be in Godly fellowship (single burning charcoal cant produce fire alone).. Something pushed me to 'try my blessings' again.. And she agreed! Though she's from another church (ie another part of Body of Christ), I'm so happy for her!! At least she can find support from my cell, while she makes the effort to find a cell in her church.. Babe, I'm so happy for you, really!
God really answers prayers FAST, if only you'd pray :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
16 Dec 08 - Stop probing, I've got my answer
I shld have expected ‘trouble’ when I pose such a question, shldnt I?
hey, people, don't speculate.. I’ll tell you when the time is ripe ok? Really, when and what have I kept anything from you?
A good friend gave me this definition: “crush is when u see him/her, ya heart beat x2.... u will be longing to see him everytime.... not to get steady, but juz go enjoy his accompany.” Is it true? But I do enjoy my buddys’ company too.. (dun take it literally – I’m just exploring further) so, any better takers on the definition?
btw, I just got to know something interesting..
Remember 14 Dec was supposed to be my Baptism Day? Well, a common friend of Bosco contacted me today.. she overheard from someone that Bosco was planning to attend my baptism ceremony.. for a while, i was shocked, but soon taken over by amusement.. can u imagine? Attending a friend’s big day yet to find the friend’s not there? Wont it be fun to see his expression (if he really attended).. (I contacted my god-bro immediately as he attended the Baptism, but he’s too busy helping the sponsors :S )
a great news! My precious bro-David is seriously considering being a sponsor for next yr RCIA process! YEAH!! I’m so proud of him! Really! Being a student in final University yr, I can forsee n understand how stressful it is. But he’s willing to step out to serve God! What a man, right!
During lunch, I’ve got another answer which is.. more practical? Cant really put into words.. but she’s the most logical so far.. she really has her way to see things in simpler way.. or is it cos I’m very complicated person?
Ok, I think I’ve got my ‘answer’ to this weird qn..
So people.. don't need to think anymore.. pls dun probe me anymore..
hey, people, don't speculate.. I’ll tell you when the time is ripe ok? Really, when and what have I kept anything from you?
A good friend gave me this definition: “crush is when u see him/her, ya heart beat x2.... u will be longing to see him everytime.... not to get steady, but juz go enjoy his accompany.” Is it true? But I do enjoy my buddys’ company too.. (dun take it literally – I’m just exploring further) so, any better takers on the definition?
btw, I just got to know something interesting..
Remember 14 Dec was supposed to be my Baptism Day? Well, a common friend of Bosco contacted me today.. she overheard from someone that Bosco was planning to attend my baptism ceremony.. for a while, i was shocked, but soon taken over by amusement.. can u imagine? Attending a friend’s big day yet to find the friend’s not there? Wont it be fun to see his expression (if he really attended).. (I contacted my god-bro immediately as he attended the Baptism, but he’s too busy helping the sponsors :S )
a great news! My precious bro-David is seriously considering being a sponsor for next yr RCIA process! YEAH!! I’m so proud of him! Really! Being a student in final University yr, I can forsee n understand how stressful it is. But he’s willing to step out to serve God! What a man, right!
During lunch, I’ve got another answer which is.. more practical? Cant really put into words.. but she’s the most logical so far.. she really has her way to see things in simpler way.. or is it cos I’m very complicated person?
Ok, I think I’ve got my ‘answer’ to this weird qn..
So people.. don't need to think anymore.. pls dun probe me anymore..
Monday, December 15, 2008
15 Dec 08 - God really 'speed things up'
ok, i know it's late and i shldnt be up so late with my bad cough..
but.. u know i always ve things to say after friend's wedding, right? morever,it's my BUDDY-ZW! The whole banquet was great, food is great n fresh too! I like Wendy's gowns.. very detailed and they really reflect her style. i'm so happy for ZW. We've known each other for 19yrs.. (man, that sounds OLD) he's like a half-brother to my family.. he looks so gentleman in his white suit today.. REAL NICE, bro!! Congratulations, Mr n Mrs Lee CW!
time flies.. or shall i say, God really 'speed things up' for me..
as just i tot i could just 'flow along' in cg as member, since i've only returned recently.. the news of multiplication came.. i was delegated to some tasks in all 'emergency' and.. now i find myself volunteering to help the new cgl.. trust me,it's nt easy to connect new cg members and to get things done in such short notice esp in transition period .. but i know i cannot let anyone fall thru the cracks of transition.. i know it's possible cos i've fallen before.. change is never easy, esp for young believers.. suddenly and assuredly, my 'vision' of being active in the new cell is becoming more vivid.. but..maybe i really hope to be 'just a member' now...
but.. u know i always ve things to say after friend's wedding, right? morever,it's my BUDDY-ZW! The whole banquet was great, food is great n fresh too! I like Wendy's gowns.. very detailed and they really reflect her style. i'm so happy for ZW. We've known each other for 19yrs.. (man, that sounds OLD) he's like a half-brother to my family.. he looks so gentleman in his white suit today.. REAL NICE, bro!! Congratulations, Mr n Mrs Lee CW!
time flies.. or shall i say, God really 'speed things up' for me..
as just i tot i could just 'flow along' in cg as member, since i've only returned recently.. the news of multiplication came.. i was delegated to some tasks in all 'emergency' and.. now i find myself volunteering to help the new cgl.. trust me,it's nt easy to connect new cg members and to get things done in such short notice esp in transition period .. but i know i cannot let anyone fall thru the cracks of transition.. i know it's possible cos i've fallen before.. change is never easy, esp for young believers.. suddenly and assuredly, my 'vision' of being active in the new cell is becoming more vivid.. but..maybe i really hope to be 'just a member' now...
15 Dec 08 - Having crush on someone?
What is it like to have a crush on someone..
That is such an old school question.. 'old' in a sense that the last time I used this phrase was way back in my secondary sch days.. That's old enough for me, ok?
Definition of crush: (n) Informal an infatuation
I guess it's like 'wanting to know more about this person' feeling? Maybe not to the extend that you'd desire to meet that person, but just want to keep informed?? Am I right? Feel free to comment cos this feeling is really so foreign / new to me now.. Then again, I'm not saying you who read my blog are having crush on me.. But.. just wonder.. how's it like to have a crush on someone? How do you know if you have good vibes about someone? How do you differentiate crush and friendship? What would you do in a crush?
(pls I’m not talking about car crAsh, ok)...
ok, people, stop speculating.. i'll let you know why i'm having this weird question when the time is ripe. Meanwhile, call me, sms me, leave comments.. whatever.. just enlighten me on this feeling..
That is such an old school question.. 'old' in a sense that the last time I used this phrase was way back in my secondary sch days.. That's old enough for me, ok?
Definition of crush: (n) Informal an infatuation
I guess it's like 'wanting to know more about this person' feeling? Maybe not to the extend that you'd desire to meet that person, but just want to keep informed?? Am I right? Feel free to comment cos this feeling is really so foreign / new to me now.. Then again, I'm not saying you who read my blog are having crush on me.. But.. just wonder.. how's it like to have a crush on someone? How do you know if you have good vibes about someone? How do you differentiate crush and friendship? What would you do in a crush?
(pls I’m not talking about car crAsh, ok)...
ok, people, stop speculating.. i'll let you know why i'm having this weird question when the time is ripe. Meanwhile, call me, sms me, leave comments.. whatever.. just enlighten me on this feeling..
Sunday, December 14, 2008
14 Dec 08 - RCIA Genesis 08 Baptism Day
14 Dec!! It's already 14 DEC!!
I'm supposed to be baptised as Catholic at 2pm today! Yet i actually forgotten such an important day for my fellow catechumen! .. i only remembered it over dinner when i realised it's my buddy ZW's wedding tomorrow!! J, what is the matter with you these days? how can you forget such important dates?!?!
i'm sorry, Vincent.. if u r reading this.. I've really forgotten abt today.. hope it all went well in God's grace and love. I hope Florence is planning a Baptism celebration before she flies to Australia for Christmas.. and everyone in RCIA is so blessed as a new creation for the Lord. Sorry, really very sorry.. i'll reward you to drinks when i meet you guys again, ok? dun ostracise me..
This week is MyHope Singapore celebration.. what a challenge is it to coordinate with new cell members, to get things and venue settled for this Thurs.. i know everyone is still in the transition trance.. but, what has to be done has to be done, right? (am i very pushy?)
honestly, i cant wait for Christmas! I've already planned what to wear for Christmas services on 20th and 24th (i'm attending on these days).. hopefully i'll not appear like Christmas tree despite my green blouse.. haaa.. maybe after that, i might organise a late-night celebration, since it's a time to celebrate! (after 4yrs of midnight Mass, this is my 1st time going for service on Christmas eve! I'm so excited!!)
btw, pls pray for my mum.. i'm inviting her for Christmas service, really hope she'll join us in this celebration.
I'm supposed to be baptised as Catholic at 2pm today! Yet i actually forgotten such an important day for my fellow catechumen! .. i only remembered it over dinner when i realised it's my buddy ZW's wedding tomorrow!! J, what is the matter with you these days? how can you forget such important dates?!?!
i'm sorry, Vincent.. if u r reading this.. I've really forgotten abt today.. hope it all went well in God's grace and love. I hope Florence is planning a Baptism celebration before she flies to Australia for Christmas.. and everyone in RCIA is so blessed as a new creation for the Lord. Sorry, really very sorry.. i'll reward you to drinks when i meet you guys again, ok? dun ostracise me..
This week is MyHope Singapore celebration.. what a challenge is it to coordinate with new cell members, to get things and venue settled for this Thurs.. i know everyone is still in the transition trance.. but, what has to be done has to be done, right? (am i very pushy?)
honestly, i cant wait for Christmas! I've already planned what to wear for Christmas services on 20th and 24th (i'm attending on these days).. hopefully i'll not appear like Christmas tree despite my green blouse.. haaa.. maybe after that, i might organise a late-night celebration, since it's a time to celebrate! (after 4yrs of midnight Mass, this is my 1st time going for service on Christmas eve! I'm so excited!!)
btw, pls pray for my mum.. i'm inviting her for Christmas service, really hope she'll join us in this celebration.
14 Dec 08 - Nick Vujicic
what a morning.. i guess when He created me,He really made me to be a 'morning' person..
it has been raining the whole morning that i cant go out with my mum to have our usual sunday breakfast.. sis's back from taiwan last night,now they are playing magjong with my mum.. to kill the boredom in this rainy morning..
as for me, i just feel like checking my emails though i've checked it last night.. there's an email frm my ex-colleague (in fact we didnt work together; she's in taiwan HQ and i'm in Singapore..diff departments.. she's now working in Amsterdam office)... trust me, though i've a lot of mass emails each day, but from her.. that's something new.. anyway i followed her email link, and i'm totally totally totally in awe! Again, God has shown that His eyes are constantly on all who loves Him (Psa 145:20)!
Nick Vujicic, in my opionion, is THE MAN! What a man of faith and love for the Lord. Though he cannot hold his wife's hands, he surely holds her heart! What a man!!
Nick visited CHC last yr.. I'm totally blessed and inspired by him, even bought his VCD for bosco who dun attend service with me...(perhaps it was His way of preparing me for my pitfall) If u ask me why am i happy of what happened, i ve to say i've learnt it from this great man of God. though i dun understand why all was happening, but i know it's all in His plan for a greater purpose.
anyway, that email reminded me of Nick again and.. this powerful verse "God does not seek out our capabilities to serve Him, He seeks out our AVAILABILITY (Zech 4:6)!! wow... past few days, i've been feeling so inadequate to serve God in that ministry.. if only I'd look UP, not down, He is able to change things around for me!
Of course, I'll gladly serve You, Father, my Heavenly King!! It's a JOY to walk in Your Calling for my life!!!
I will learn to pick my pebbles from this learning journey so I will have bags full of stones to slay the Goliath one day!
I love You, Jesus! You have never, NEVER, let me go from your sight, not even a rest have You taken!
Be mightily blessed by Nick Vujicic today!!
http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=TtweZxNGk1Y
it has been raining the whole morning that i cant go out with my mum to have our usual sunday breakfast.. sis's back from taiwan last night,now they are playing magjong with my mum.. to kill the boredom in this rainy morning..
as for me, i just feel like checking my emails though i've checked it last night.. there's an email frm my ex-colleague (in fact we didnt work together; she's in taiwan HQ and i'm in Singapore..diff departments.. she's now working in Amsterdam office)... trust me, though i've a lot of mass emails each day, but from her.. that's something new.. anyway i followed her email link, and i'm totally totally totally in awe! Again, God has shown that His eyes are constantly on all who loves Him (Psa 145:20)!
Nick Vujicic, in my opionion, is THE MAN! What a man of faith and love for the Lord. Though he cannot hold his wife's hands, he surely holds her heart! What a man!!
Nick visited CHC last yr.. I'm totally blessed and inspired by him, even bought his VCD for bosco who dun attend service with me...(perhaps it was His way of preparing me for my pitfall) If u ask me why am i happy of what happened, i ve to say i've learnt it from this great man of God. though i dun understand why all was happening, but i know it's all in His plan for a greater purpose.
anyway, that email reminded me of Nick again and.. this powerful verse "God does not seek out our capabilities to serve Him, He seeks out our AVAILABILITY (Zech 4:6)!! wow... past few days, i've been feeling so inadequate to serve God in that ministry.. if only I'd look UP, not down, He is able to change things around for me!
Of course, I'll gladly serve You, Father, my Heavenly King!! It's a JOY to walk in Your Calling for my life!!!
I will learn to pick my pebbles from this learning journey so I will have bags full of stones to slay the Goliath one day!
I love You, Jesus! You have never, NEVER, let me go from your sight, not even a rest have You taken!
Be mightily blessed by Nick Vujicic today!!
http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=TtweZxNGk1Y
Saturday, December 13, 2008
13 Dec 08 - BOLD and LOVING present
Tonight is the 1st service W503 is attending as a new cell (we have more sisters than brothers!).. dunno why but just a feeling that i'll be 'more active' in this cell (training ground for greater things to come?).. gonna miss N277 even though it's kinda funny too, cos both cgs are all seated together during service and we only ve to split into respective cgs for debriefing after service.. i guess the 'different cg' feeling will sink in on thurs cos the new cell meeting is in town,not AMK anymore.. sob sob..
recently someone asked me this very good qn "how do u know if guy A is 'for you'."
hmmm.. how do i know.. well, i guess no one knows (i'm nt a believer in 'love @ first sight').. unless one party is willing to step out to 'verify' with the person and work things out together.. will i be the first to step out? though i'm a feminist, but i'd still prefer to sacrifice this big move for the gentleman.. hahaa... i believe if he's really interested, he will take this risk (the greater the desire the greater the motivation, remember?) afterall man is created to be the head of the family.. if he dun even dare to take risk for his own happiness.. how can i trust him to lead as head of my family?
(yes, i know i'm asking much from this poor guy.. well, he has to pass some sincerity assessment tests, right?)
ok, to be fair, i'll try to assure him of my interest if he dare to step out, ok? i read somwhere about 'getting the engine started'.. well, in my view, he has to start engine and i'll keep the engine running (if i'm interested).. fair deal?
ever read this Jap book - Train Man? it's a true story of how a couple knew each other from Webchat and romance kicks off; the book is basically their chat history.. the sincerity of love can even be felt and proven thru the Net!! (i've been online chat all day.. how come i dun get this kind romantic 'fate'? :P)
my dear babe, i know you are trying to help..to keep my eyes open.. but i'd prefer to adhere to my sincerity tests.. dont worry, ok? i'm fine.. i know my God has prepared a BOLD and LOVING present for me :) .. if you must worry, pls pray for him.. cos he sure has a lot of tests to go through..
Eph 5:25-27
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.
recently someone asked me this very good qn "how do u know if guy A is 'for you'."
hmmm.. how do i know.. well, i guess no one knows (i'm nt a believer in 'love @ first sight').. unless one party is willing to step out to 'verify' with the person and work things out together.. will i be the first to step out? though i'm a feminist, but i'd still prefer to sacrifice this big move for the gentleman.. hahaa... i believe if he's really interested, he will take this risk (the greater the desire the greater the motivation, remember?) afterall man is created to be the head of the family.. if he dun even dare to take risk for his own happiness.. how can i trust him to lead as head of my family?
(yes, i know i'm asking much from this poor guy.. well, he has to pass some sincerity assessment tests, right?)
ok, to be fair, i'll try to assure him of my interest if he dare to step out, ok? i read somwhere about 'getting the engine started'.. well, in my view, he has to start engine and i'll keep the engine running (if i'm interested).. fair deal?
ever read this Jap book - Train Man? it's a true story of how a couple knew each other from Webchat and romance kicks off; the book is basically their chat history.. the sincerity of love can even be felt and proven thru the Net!! (i've been online chat all day.. how come i dun get this kind romantic 'fate'? :P)
my dear babe, i know you are trying to help..to keep my eyes open.. but i'd prefer to adhere to my sincerity tests.. dont worry, ok? i'm fine.. i know my God has prepared a BOLD and LOVING present for me :) .. if you must worry, pls pray for him.. cos he sure has a lot of tests to go through..
Eph 5:25-27
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.
Friday, December 12, 2008
12 Dec 08 - Dreadful Fridays..
before i start.. i have to tell you: MY SISTER IS VERY BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT!! BRIGHTEST,ROUNDEST EVER! VERY VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!
(my bro david said it's the roundest in past 8yrs or 9yrs..i forgot :p )
*****
prayer request -
i had a good discussion with my cellgroup leader last cg meeting.. i want to return serving in ministry.. i had enough rest when i was 'absent' from CHC.. as much as i wanted to restart slow, but i know i've to serve again.. let the new year be a new great year.
to my surprise,she told me to stay put. it's not that she dun let me serve, but.. she shared a vision abt me.. a 'greater' vision.. i was (still am) taken aback.. that is what i've always wanted to be.. but i just dun ve the faith to serve in that ministry, hence i've kept it to myself.. now that she's opening this vision again, i'm happy yet at the same time.. shaken.. i really dont know how i can serve in that area; all i want is to serve God, serve His people with all I know how. but what a great responsibility in that ministry.. even my buddy Alec dun 'dare' to take up that ministry calling yet..
pray for me, will you? i really need stronger faith to rise up to that calling.. anyway, i'll ve another discussion with her tmr.. pls pray for me..
*******
i just had a good facial appointment.. on friday night. my good colleague nagged at me for the whole day - why wld i arrange such thing on Friday night when i shld be going out, get to know new friends..
frankly, i wanted to... i wanted to shop, watch movies or even dancing.. but i'm tired of planning something to counteract my dreadful fridays.. i dun like fridays. i'd so much prefer Mondays so i can be at work, knowing it'll be a fruitful n challenging day to start the week.. i know i can join the singles' outing on friday nights if i dun want to plan.. but friday night.. is it not a night to spend with your special one,family or few good friends? it is times like this when i'd feel like doing something but doing nothing in the end.. despite the nagging, she still kept me company for dinner (what a good sport, right?)
on the way to my appointment, i saw this group of young girls on the bus.. all dressed up to club, to dance and sharing their 'dance knowledge' aloud. i smiled.. (they must had seen n known i'm earsdropping them).. those were the days - Nyx and I would meet after work to dance on every Wed, Fri n Sat; still be back in office on next morning for work (nyx n i were colleagues then).. As we dun dance with guys, Nyx was and still is my best n only dance partner so far.. we dance cos we love dancing, not because of 'fishing'.. but since she's gotten married, gone are those good wild days..
Fridays... sigh.. i think i'll rent VCDs to watch on Friday nights from next week onwards.. though i'll be home alone (my sisters usually out with their bfs; parents out to have their 'private time'), at least i still have my son-Hugo and Sydney with me.. that's why my Hugo is my boyfriend+lover+son :)
(my bro david said it's the roundest in past 8yrs or 9yrs..i forgot :p )
*****
prayer request -
i had a good discussion with my cellgroup leader last cg meeting.. i want to return serving in ministry.. i had enough rest when i was 'absent' from CHC.. as much as i wanted to restart slow, but i know i've to serve again.. let the new year be a new great year.
to my surprise,she told me to stay put. it's not that she dun let me serve, but.. she shared a vision abt me.. a 'greater' vision.. i was (still am) taken aback.. that is what i've always wanted to be.. but i just dun ve the faith to serve in that ministry, hence i've kept it to myself.. now that she's opening this vision again, i'm happy yet at the same time.. shaken.. i really dont know how i can serve in that area; all i want is to serve God, serve His people with all I know how. but what a great responsibility in that ministry.. even my buddy Alec dun 'dare' to take up that ministry calling yet..
pray for me, will you? i really need stronger faith to rise up to that calling.. anyway, i'll ve another discussion with her tmr.. pls pray for me..
*******
i just had a good facial appointment.. on friday night. my good colleague nagged at me for the whole day - why wld i arrange such thing on Friday night when i shld be going out, get to know new friends..
frankly, i wanted to... i wanted to shop, watch movies or even dancing.. but i'm tired of planning something to counteract my dreadful fridays.. i dun like fridays. i'd so much prefer Mondays so i can be at work, knowing it'll be a fruitful n challenging day to start the week.. i know i can join the singles' outing on friday nights if i dun want to plan.. but friday night.. is it not a night to spend with your special one,family or few good friends? it is times like this when i'd feel like doing something but doing nothing in the end.. despite the nagging, she still kept me company for dinner (what a good sport, right?)
on the way to my appointment, i saw this group of young girls on the bus.. all dressed up to club, to dance and sharing their 'dance knowledge' aloud. i smiled.. (they must had seen n known i'm earsdropping them).. those were the days - Nyx and I would meet after work to dance on every Wed, Fri n Sat; still be back in office on next morning for work (nyx n i were colleagues then).. As we dun dance with guys, Nyx was and still is my best n only dance partner so far.. we dance cos we love dancing, not because of 'fishing'.. but since she's gotten married, gone are those good wild days..
Fridays... sigh.. i think i'll rent VCDs to watch on Friday nights from next week onwards.. though i'll be home alone (my sisters usually out with their bfs; parents out to have their 'private time'), at least i still have my son-Hugo and Sydney with me.. that's why my Hugo is my boyfriend+lover+son :)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
11 Dec 08 - Inefficient day
After ending one of my tedious projects, I’ve to admit I’m slipping into festive mood now. So much so that I’ve been looking for things to buy, places to go and even movies to watch, instead of looking for more work tasks to do. (Trust me, I’ll ask for more work when I’m not so loaded.. we work as a team, have to help one another’s load, right?) So much so that it took me 30mins to finish a work task which I can do it in 10mins.. And I’ve been writing my blog during office hours.. That’s highly inefficient, I know. Anyway, that’s me for now.
I think I’m getting some breakthrough.. I watched this romance movie preview online, and I actually feel like watching it! Can u imagine that?! I’ve been avoiding such lovey-dovey stuff for nearly 1yr.. and now I actually attracted to this movie… breakthrough or trouble?
Speaking of trouble, I’m so getting it this time.. cos of those singles’ events, I’m so into deep trouble.. not trying to show-off, but I’d really prefer to have some peace.. this guy kept bugging me for coffee, when I’ve no interest at all! How I’d like to scream ‘I’M ALLERGIC TO COFFEE!’ behind my super polite suggestion that he should join group outings more often (I tot that’s already a clear and direct hint!). Honestly, I’m not in favour of 1-on-1 outing with anyone (at least not now, not him), I’d prefer group outings. I guess I’ve learnt to treasure group outings cos once attached, it’s hard to meet up in such big group again.
p/s: 'THE VISITOR' movie is very nice! Though it requires some patience to watch it, but it's all worth it!
I think I’m getting some breakthrough.. I watched this romance movie preview online, and I actually feel like watching it! Can u imagine that?! I’ve been avoiding such lovey-dovey stuff for nearly 1yr.. and now I actually attracted to this movie… breakthrough or trouble?
Speaking of trouble, I’m so getting it this time.. cos of those singles’ events, I’m so into deep trouble.. not trying to show-off, but I’d really prefer to have some peace.. this guy kept bugging me for coffee, when I’ve no interest at all! How I’d like to scream ‘I’M ALLERGIC TO COFFEE!’ behind my super polite suggestion that he should join group outings more often (I tot that’s already a clear and direct hint!). Honestly, I’m not in favour of 1-on-1 outing with anyone (at least not now, not him), I’d prefer group outings. I guess I’ve learnt to treasure group outings cos once attached, it’s hard to meet up in such big group again.
p/s: 'THE VISITOR' movie is very nice! Though it requires some patience to watch it, but it's all worth it!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
10 Dec 08 - Matt C.
ok,people, my mind is so full today.. esp knowing there's a new reader in our midst. :) Welcome! (for a while, i was really bugged if i know him personally..)
frankly, i'm really so 'available' at work today. For the whole morning, i had such fun chat with my Australia colleague.. nothing official, just social chat.. he's totally funny and bold in speech.. he even attempted to provoke another department with his emails in such boldness, so direct!! I nearly laughed off my chair when i saw his flooding emails (i'm in the loop).. he's the best! though we have not met, but he's my worst and best internal client. i like him, for his straight-forward attitude and even his sarcastic humour.
don't get me wrong, i'm not encouraging sarcasm, but he really has his way and knows his stuff. we exchanged facebook contacts and i cant tell you how entertained i was by his facebook! i really had a hard time muffling my laughter at every of his updates... totally amusingly honest blunt comments!
bottom line? i really like working with him (though my team will tell you he's one of the worst people to work with) maybe cos i'm a difficult customer myself, hence.. birds of same feathers flock together.. hahaa
frankly, i'm really so 'available' at work today. For the whole morning, i had such fun chat with my Australia colleague.. nothing official, just social chat.. he's totally funny and bold in speech.. he even attempted to provoke another department with his emails in such boldness, so direct!! I nearly laughed off my chair when i saw his flooding emails (i'm in the loop).. he's the best! though we have not met, but he's my worst and best internal client. i like him, for his straight-forward attitude and even his sarcastic humour.
don't get me wrong, i'm not encouraging sarcasm, but he really has his way and knows his stuff. we exchanged facebook contacts and i cant tell you how entertained i was by his facebook! i really had a hard time muffling my laughter at every of his updates... totally amusingly honest blunt comments!
bottom line? i really like working with him (though my team will tell you he's one of the worst people to work with) maybe cos i'm a difficult customer myself, hence.. birds of same feathers flock together.. hahaa
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
9 Dec 08 - 想念L3B的日子
菁很久沒用華文寫部落格了..
菁今天提早回家, 8點半就到家了.. 小妹現在應該在花蓮遊玩, 二妹與媽去瑜伽課, 爸爸已經在房裡休息了.. 幫寶貝洗完澡,一個人看著TVBS新聞..似乎處在獨自在台灣的感覺..
昨天才聯絡前同事聊到公司的情況, 今天就在電視上看到公司高層減薪的消息.. 昨天才得知前上司的近況,還答應他下次去台灣一定會去趟竹科找他們吃飯.. 公司近日有不少更動, 看來這次的經融危機真的不簡單.. 不知道菁的朋友們現在還好嗎.. 希望大家能'平安無事'地過年.. 相信如果上下一心, 菁相信再壞的日子都會過去的..
好想念L3B的工作環境, 竹北的豪華偏僻宿舍..
路 加 福 音 1:37
因 為，出 於 神 的 話，沒 有 一 句 不 帶 能 力 的。
菁今天提早回家, 8點半就到家了.. 小妹現在應該在花蓮遊玩, 二妹與媽去瑜伽課, 爸爸已經在房裡休息了.. 幫寶貝洗完澡,一個人看著TVBS新聞..似乎處在獨自在台灣的感覺..
昨天才聯絡前同事聊到公司的情況, 今天就在電視上看到公司高層減薪的消息.. 昨天才得知前上司的近況,還答應他下次去台灣一定會去趟竹科找他們吃飯.. 公司近日有不少更動, 看來這次的經融危機真的不簡單.. 不知道菁的朋友們現在還好嗎.. 希望大家能'平安無事'地過年.. 相信如果上下一心, 菁相信再壞的日子都會過去的..
好想念L3B的工作環境, 竹北的豪華偏僻宿舍..
路 加 福 音 1:37
因 為，出 於 神 的 話，沒 有 一 句 不 帶 能 力 的。
9 Dec 08 - Welcome to my blog :)
you who read my blog falls into 2 categories:
1) you are of my inner circle of friends
2) we have yet to meet
today i was totally freaked out! FREAKED OUT! Remember i shared abt a friend's blog few days ago and how tempted i was to leave comment in his blog? well, the truth is i left ONE comment. looking at his blogging history, i tot he wun be bothered by comments.. or he wun be checking his blog till perhaps next month.. But he checked me out instead!!
talking to him today feels weird.. the topic was kinda serious, unlike the past conversations. When i knew he read my blog, i totally froze at my desk... literally FROZE! it's not that he cant read it (afterall my blog is not privatised) but i just didn't expect it! for the next few minutes, I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO REACT.. suddenly i realised the power of internet; suddenly it just dawned upon me that 'hey, he might not be the only one'.. it took me a while more before i can compose myself to respond to his chat.. i mean, what happened has happened.. what can i do, right? just hear it out from him.. but as usual, being a man of few words + i had to attend a meeting soon after, our chat didn't go far..
reflecting on it now, i find it so amusing.. really amusing.. my 'life-story' being broadcasted on blog for all to read, hopefully it will help those who are going through similiar experiences.. yet, all these while, i've not expected someone i barely know to read my story? J, aren't u a bit too naive?
then again, it's a new experience for me.. i'm learning to take it by grace.. perhaps it's good that he reads it, he might be able to help others in need, esp those under depression..
at least i've been truthful in my blog, i speak my mind on the matters of heart.. perhaps it might shed some light in understanding 'demanding' and 'confusing' women..
to you-who-know-who-you-are >
official welcome to my blog!
hope it will bless you, and feel free to leave comments.. :)
1) you are of my inner circle of friends
2) we have yet to meet
today i was totally freaked out! FREAKED OUT! Remember i shared abt a friend's blog few days ago and how tempted i was to leave comment in his blog? well, the truth is i left ONE comment. looking at his blogging history, i tot he wun be bothered by comments.. or he wun be checking his blog till perhaps next month.. But he checked me out instead!!
talking to him today feels weird.. the topic was kinda serious, unlike the past conversations. When i knew he read my blog, i totally froze at my desk... literally FROZE! it's not that he cant read it (afterall my blog is not privatised) but i just didn't expect it! for the next few minutes, I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO REACT.. suddenly i realised the power of internet; suddenly it just dawned upon me that 'hey, he might not be the only one'.. it took me a while more before i can compose myself to respond to his chat.. i mean, what happened has happened.. what can i do, right? just hear it out from him.. but as usual, being a man of few words + i had to attend a meeting soon after, our chat didn't go far..
reflecting on it now, i find it so amusing.. really amusing.. my 'life-story' being broadcasted on blog for all to read, hopefully it will help those who are going through similiar experiences.. yet, all these while, i've not expected someone i barely know to read my story? J, aren't u a bit too naive?
then again, it's a new experience for me.. i'm learning to take it by grace.. perhaps it's good that he reads it, he might be able to help others in need, esp those under depression..
at least i've been truthful in my blog, i speak my mind on the matters of heart.. perhaps it might shed some light in understanding 'demanding' and 'confusing' women..
to you-who-know-who-you-are >
official welcome to my blog!
hope it will bless you, and feel free to leave comments.. :)
9 Dec 08 - GREAT AWESOME BLESSED morning!
I just had an most unusual morning!
Let's start at the very beginning..
I woke up late, doing my usual rush to get ready for work.. when I finally settled down on my dad's ride to my busstop, my heart was filled with songs of praise! It didn't start as a rushing flood but..one song by one song, they all came to me as I opened my mouth to sing along my ride..(My dad must have heard and wondering why am I singing this early Tuesday morning to work) As I sing, praise and pray, I cant stop.. Though physically I'm riding on motorbike in midst of public traffic, but the Joy..the Presence of Holy Spirit embraces me so tangibly! I just cant stop singing with all I am, and I don't want to stop..why should I? Such joy of praising Him, of worshipping Him…regardless of where I am. Even when I arrived at my bus-stop, I didn't want to stop.. I don't mind singing softly (even though people might look) but I just don't want this fellowship, this experience to stop.. Throughout my journey to work, the songs just keep flowing as long as I keep singing.. It reminded me of what Lydia shared in her blog.. when she was leading worship one day, she had to resist singing cos she doesn't want to stop singing praise and worship our Great Lord.. That's how it's like - His Greatness and Love is worth so much more than our praise and worship.. How we wish we can praise and worship Him non-stop forever! How much we want to declare our love for Him! We love You, Jesus! We love You so much!!
While immersing in this incredible Presence and joy of singing, I totally lost myself.. Only to realise I've arrived at my workplace when the bus stopped at the busstop, hence I hurried to alight.. At my office lift, I had this feeling.. Something's missing.. I looked at myself in the reflection..Oh no! my cardigan is missing! Cant tell you how intolerant I am with low temperature, but I am! With this piece of cloth missing, I started to panick and wonder how cold I will be in office today.. I know it's just a piece of small black cardigan..since I have so many clothes in my 2 wardrodes, i can afford to 'lose' it.. But don't know why.. The 'pain' of losing it really got me.. I've failed in looking after my resources - part of stewardship.. It's really not a good feeling at all! Why was I so careless? I should have taken a look when I left the seat.. Though I know I cannot let this fear overtake the joyous experience I was just having, but .. I am worried!
The moment I stepped out of the lift, I saw my colleague and I shared with her.. She suggested I should call the bus terminal to check.. What a excellent idea! Why didn't I think of that?! I searched the web for service helpline and finally got the contact to the bus terminal. The moment I identify my lost of 'clothes' on bus 93, the bus captain on the other end filled the details for me - 'black one, is it? Ya, it's here, you can come and take from here'. How I leap with joy!! Lost and FOUND!
Wow! What a GREAT AWESOME BLESSED morning!
Psalm 37: 23
The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, and He delights in his way.
Psam 85:13
Righteousness will go before Him, and shall make His footsteps our pathway.
Monday, December 8, 2008
8 Dec 08 - Christ The King SSC200 Carolling
it's been a cold (not just cool) day! just a short trip to AMK Hub, my limbs are freezing and my immune is dropping fast..
back in my room now after a hot bath, .. sounds of carol from the window.. i know where's it from.. i cant deny how much i want to go out in my sleeping attire to join them.. i joined them last yr-- it's a night like this where i just rushed out of my house to follow these sweet blessings.. i was invited into the house and then Bosco joined us when he came out to look for me.. it's from a Catholic family a level down from me.. they belong to CTK SSC200 group (it's like a cellgroup) That's how i got to know quite a few of them in CTK, prior RCIA journey.. pple wondered how a new inquirier got to know so many people in church before the journey..well, it's all because of carols..
listening to them now, how much I want to join them!! i know i can still join them, i miss Agnes, Katherine and Aaron (the 'official' music conductor) and his wife.. the kids, yes, the kids.. they are so obedient though playful.. And i can expect Katherine to ask me why i didn't join them.. cos she had given me the carol practice schedule way in advance in Feb08! Agnes will be interested to know how am i coping (she's really an guardian angel.. she lent me her shoulder to cry on when i was praying in tears alone after Mass, that's how i knew her) in fact, this group kept me going in my faith when i was alone during my cross-over.. they always kept me informed of their prayer meetings and gatherngs.. before RCIA class started, they even took turns to attend Mass with me after they knew i'm alone and Bosco was not around for me.. i really really miss them all..i really want to meet them but...
i know i'm contradicting myself by missing them yet not going down to meet them.. reason? i'm afraid i'll cry when i see them.. i know i will.. though i'm very comfortably planted into my church, my cellgroup but.. the warmth and love which these aunties had blessed me is much more than that.. (for those who are not familiar with Catholic SSC, these groups (cellgroups) are mostly aunties and uncles).. they are really so 'motherly', i can talk to them on any topic even when i was a stranger in my new church environment... listening to them now, i'm already fighting my tears.. how time flies.. last yr this time, i had such fun joining their carolling practices, even they knew I'm not Catholic..
argh!! i love you all SSC200! May your sweet carols continue to bless the old folks in homes.. May your love and warmth continue to bring joy to all around you! I love you all!!
back in my room now after a hot bath, .. sounds of carol from the window.. i know where's it from.. i cant deny how much i want to go out in my sleeping attire to join them.. i joined them last yr-- it's a night like this where i just rushed out of my house to follow these sweet blessings.. i was invited into the house and then Bosco joined us when he came out to look for me.. it's from a Catholic family a level down from me.. they belong to CTK SSC200 group (it's like a cellgroup) That's how i got to know quite a few of them in CTK, prior RCIA journey.. pple wondered how a new inquirier got to know so many people in church before the journey..well, it's all because of carols..
listening to them now, how much I want to join them!! i know i can still join them, i miss Agnes, Katherine and Aaron (the 'official' music conductor) and his wife.. the kids, yes, the kids.. they are so obedient though playful.. And i can expect Katherine to ask me why i didn't join them.. cos she had given me the carol practice schedule way in advance in Feb08! Agnes will be interested to know how am i coping (she's really an guardian angel.. she lent me her shoulder to cry on when i was praying in tears alone after Mass, that's how i knew her) in fact, this group kept me going in my faith when i was alone during my cross-over.. they always kept me informed of their prayer meetings and gatherngs.. before RCIA class started, they even took turns to attend Mass with me after they knew i'm alone and Bosco was not around for me.. i really really miss them all..i really want to meet them but...
i know i'm contradicting myself by missing them yet not going down to meet them.. reason? i'm afraid i'll cry when i see them.. i know i will.. though i'm very comfortably planted into my church, my cellgroup but.. the warmth and love which these aunties had blessed me is much more than that.. (for those who are not familiar with Catholic SSC, these groups (cellgroups) are mostly aunties and uncles).. they are really so 'motherly', i can talk to them on any topic even when i was a stranger in my new church environment... listening to them now, i'm already fighting my tears.. how time flies.. last yr this time, i had such fun joining their carolling practices, even they knew I'm not Catholic..
argh!! i love you all SSC200! May your sweet carols continue to bless the old folks in homes.. May your love and warmth continue to bring joy to all around you! I love you all!!
8 Dec 08 - Courting for trouble..
i know i'm courting for trouble..
it's been a cool rainy morning.. so cool that i've lazed on bed for 2hrs before i get up, and even after i've done my morning laundry i'm willing to miss my-all-time-favourite-time: breakfast and be back to my bed.. (dun worry i'm not having any depression relaspe..just pure laziness)
best of all, i went into my previous blog.. my Depression Dairy. ok, i didn't go far back, just few last entries.. reading it again, i wonder where did i get all those words, those expressions.. (dont worry,i'm nt crying ok?i'm fine after reading).. it's so naked! if words can cry, i can still hear its cry from those words.. how did i survive those times? weeping in my eyes, crying in my heart while i typed..
it's been a long while since we talk abt my feelings for him on my blog (i know some of you will not be encouraging me to do so).. i know it's dangerous to recall the love and pain but hey, i've to face it and embrace it, right? as like the vision i've gotten - a deep cup full of tiny holes.. I've to allow my holes to be mended, to be filled so i can continue to be the cup i'm meant to be - to hold water.
i dont know how's my recovery progress in your eyes.. but if my counsellor is to know, i know she'll be happy for me (i'm still in contact with some of my depression friends, helping them to take a step at a time).. my doctor is happy for me too (i know cos i consulted to him for my last medical leave).. and my mum.. my mum is amazing. she used to be strong-headed, telling her daughters to do the things the way she is able to do.. but now, she's more receptive to other's way of handling life.. i was even able to explain to her my agony and struggle of my depression, she is so open to hear and learn from me.. (thank God for that!) and my dad.. though he's still seeking self-righteousness, but our conflicts has greatly decreased and he has trusted me more than my sisters to help him on his matters.. Dont you think God is amazing? He is able to change my relationship with my family from 'not-so-bonded' to such closeness and trust.. of course, we are still not the model parents-daughter relationship, but we are working well on it.
in a few more days, it'll be 29th Dec.. the day when all hell broke loose in my life.. it's been a year.. exact 1 year..do i 'fear' the coming of 29 Dec? yes and no.. i've 'checked' Bosco out on his facebook recently and he looks happy...(btw i think i know who is his gf now, but i'm not upset).. well, cant say i dont love him.. i do, but the pain with this love is gone.. as long as he's happy, that's my prayer for him.. as long as he's close to God, serving God in love, what more can i ask? so, in this way, i'm not scare of 29 Dec.. but be honest, i'm scare of its reminder.. confusing? well, in simple, i'm not fearful of the day itself, but i'm uncomfortable of being reminded of that day.. 3 more weeks.. i wonder how many reminders will i remind myself and how the situation will change..
it's been a cool rainy morning.. so cool that i've lazed on bed for 2hrs before i get up, and even after i've done my morning laundry i'm willing to miss my-all-time-favourite-time: breakfast and be back to my bed.. (dun worry i'm not having any depression relaspe..just pure laziness)
best of all, i went into my previous blog.. my Depression Dairy. ok, i didn't go far back, just few last entries.. reading it again, i wonder where did i get all those words, those expressions.. (dont worry,i'm nt crying ok?i'm fine after reading).. it's so naked! if words can cry, i can still hear its cry from those words.. how did i survive those times? weeping in my eyes, crying in my heart while i typed..
it's been a long while since we talk abt my feelings for him on my blog (i know some of you will not be encouraging me to do so).. i know it's dangerous to recall the love and pain but hey, i've to face it and embrace it, right? as like the vision i've gotten - a deep cup full of tiny holes.. I've to allow my holes to be mended, to be filled so i can continue to be the cup i'm meant to be - to hold water.
i dont know how's my recovery progress in your eyes.. but if my counsellor is to know, i know she'll be happy for me (i'm still in contact with some of my depression friends, helping them to take a step at a time).. my doctor is happy for me too (i know cos i consulted to him for my last medical leave).. and my mum.. my mum is amazing. she used to be strong-headed, telling her daughters to do the things the way she is able to do.. but now, she's more receptive to other's way of handling life.. i was even able to explain to her my agony and struggle of my depression, she is so open to hear and learn from me.. (thank God for that!) and my dad.. though he's still seeking self-righteousness, but our conflicts has greatly decreased and he has trusted me more than my sisters to help him on his matters.. Dont you think God is amazing? He is able to change my relationship with my family from 'not-so-bonded' to such closeness and trust.. of course, we are still not the model parents-daughter relationship, but we are working well on it.
in a few more days, it'll be 29th Dec.. the day when all hell broke loose in my life.. it's been a year.. exact 1 year..do i 'fear' the coming of 29 Dec? yes and no.. i've 'checked' Bosco out on his facebook recently and he looks happy...(btw i think i know who is his gf now, but i'm not upset).. well, cant say i dont love him.. i do, but the pain with this love is gone.. as long as he's happy, that's my prayer for him.. as long as he's close to God, serving God in love, what more can i ask? so, in this way, i'm not scare of 29 Dec.. but be honest, i'm scare of its reminder.. confusing? well, in simple, i'm not fearful of the day itself, but i'm uncomfortable of being reminded of that day.. 3 more weeks.. i wonder how many reminders will i remind myself and how the situation will change..
7 Dec 08 - 1st and LAST speed-dating
i know it's late now but .. dunno why these few days i've the 'inspiration' to blog.. (fyi,if i dont ve the inspiration, i simply cant type beyond 1 sentence)
what a day today..
a farewell breakfast for my sis -> went to Standard Chartered Marathon to support my cell members (most of them are enthu marathoners) -> attended a speed-dating session (talked non-stop for 2hrs!! trust me i wun do it again!) -> joined another singles group at East Coast Park (intended to show face for dinner only cos i'm super duper tired, yet .. i just reached home at 12midnight!)
ok, abt the speed-dating session.. it was not my idea to go, but at a friend's invitation.. i have to say,it's fun to meet up with people (as usual) but it's super tiring to introduce for 11 rounds (or so) and to create intensive ice-breaking topics for each round! i know i can be friendly but it's no joking matter! i'm super exhausted by end of the session! in fact, i think i enjoy talking to this ger at my table more than that of to the guys.. she's a Catholic (see - i told u i've this affinity with Catholics), and she attends Church of Holy Spirit (my first experience of RCIA happened there)! .. How small can the world be? oh ya, there's another another Catholic in the guys group - he attends Christ The King! (Speaking of CTK , it reminds of my big family there.. what an honour to know them and to have journeyed with them.. i still miss them)
in case u r wondering what're my 'fruits' so far after joining these singles' outings..
well.. let's just put it that i'm not 'looking around'.. somehow i'm assured everything is in God's plan.. he will come when it's time for him to show up.. maybe he's already around, maybe he's away for now but i know there will be a time when i'm ready to accept and when he's ready to reveal himself.. for now, i just dun want to be 'active' in such affairs.. there're so much more i've to do as a single lady.. i enjoy being myself, flowing along with the group and even being the workaholic J..
moreover, i still have my list of requirements as my checklist :) when he who can fulfils my checklist shows up, i know that's the time.. if he does not share my vision in God, i'd rather be single and continue to wait.. i'd rather miss this person rather than missing God out. i've done this silly thing before and i dont want to do it again. Some lessons are too costly to learn again..
dont worry,you who read my blog will get to know when the time is here. have i kept anything fr you, anyway? :)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
6 Dec 08 - Where are your manners, guys?
guys, i really cant help wondering.. where are your manners?
i'm supposed to meet this grp of guy friends tonight.. though he asked me to join them tonight, but no exact details was given. OK, i understand guys dont plan in advance so I gave in and waited till the LAST MINUTE for their details.. (i have my own time and plan too, ya?) I gave him a buzz + 3 sms to follow up with the 'plan' but all in vain.. I gave him the benefit of doubt that he left his mobile at home, hence i managed to contact another guy in the group.. he replied that they are together. Great, i found the right contact.. i asked this second guy to confirm our meeting again, even included a note of comfort that if they want to cancel the meeting with me, it's ok, but just give me a confirmation.. i waited 5mins..another 10mins.. even till now which is 4hrs after my request for confirmation. NO ANSWER! Not even a sms to say, 'ya, let's cancel it'!
look, guys, let's be fair.. u want people to respect your time and 'last-minute' plan, you ought to respect others time too, right? that's basic mannerism. it's not as if i've not followed up or given the benefit of doubt, the least anyone should do is to reply back, right? though i'm not considering any guy now for any 'prospect' , but still.. this is basic courtesy, right?
just by this one simple 'overlook', i really have my skepticism on the standard of guys these days.. i know i'm not supposed to judge, but hey, this is not the first case of inconsideration(insensitivity) from human male species! can someone from this species group please do something, before my confidence in your species slump beyond recovery..
i'm supposed to meet this grp of guy friends tonight.. though he asked me to join them tonight, but no exact details was given. OK, i understand guys dont plan in advance so I gave in and waited till the LAST MINUTE for their details.. (i have my own time and plan too, ya?) I gave him a buzz + 3 sms to follow up with the 'plan' but all in vain.. I gave him the benefit of doubt that he left his mobile at home, hence i managed to contact another guy in the group.. he replied that they are together. Great, i found the right contact.. i asked this second guy to confirm our meeting again, even included a note of comfort that if they want to cancel the meeting with me, it's ok, but just give me a confirmation.. i waited 5mins..another 10mins.. even till now which is 4hrs after my request for confirmation. NO ANSWER! Not even a sms to say, 'ya, let's cancel it'!
look, guys, let's be fair.. u want people to respect your time and 'last-minute' plan, you ought to respect others time too, right? that's basic mannerism. it's not as if i've not followed up or given the benefit of doubt, the least anyone should do is to reply back, right? though i'm not considering any guy now for any 'prospect' , but still.. this is basic courtesy, right?
just by this one simple 'overlook', i really have my skepticism on the standard of guys these days.. i know i'm not supposed to judge, but hey, this is not the first case of inconsideration(insensitivity) from human male species! can someone from this species group please do something, before my confidence in your species slump beyond recovery..
Friday, December 5, 2008
5 Dec 08 - Unhindered Prayers
today a good friend sent me a very inspiring email.. just as i'm still pondering on my friend's marriage issue, this message seems to be meant for them..
'Unhindered Prayers'
Did you know that the way you treat people has an impact on the effectiveness of your prayers?
The Bible says that the prayer of the righteous person is powerful (James 5:16), but if we aren’t treating others with honor, kindness, and respect, then we aren’t allowing His righteousness to operate in us. When we don’t treat others the way we should, it closes the door to God’s power and hinders our prayers.This is especially true in a marriage relationship.
Marriage isn’t just an agreement between two people to live life together. Marriage is a God-ordained institution that helps us understand love and unity. When two people are married, they become one physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
And, this particular passage is directed toward husbands, but it applies to all believers as well. We should all treat others “with understanding” which means considering the needs of others above our own. We should always aim to treat others with kindness, dignity, and respect and quickly choose forgiveness.
What a great blessing to my heart and a reminder to my mind..
i pray it will bless you too..
1 Peter 3:7
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
'Unhindered Prayers'
Did you know that the way you treat people has an impact on the effectiveness of your prayers?
The Bible says that the prayer of the righteous person is powerful (James 5:16), but if we aren’t treating others with honor, kindness, and respect, then we aren’t allowing His righteousness to operate in us. When we don’t treat others the way we should, it closes the door to God’s power and hinders our prayers.This is especially true in a marriage relationship.
Marriage isn’t just an agreement between two people to live life together. Marriage is a God-ordained institution that helps us understand love and unity. When two people are married, they become one physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
And, this particular passage is directed toward husbands, but it applies to all believers as well. We should all treat others “with understanding” which means considering the needs of others above our own. We should always aim to treat others with kindness, dignity, and respect and quickly choose forgiveness.
What a great blessing to my heart and a reminder to my mind..
i pray it will bless you too..
1 Peter 3:7
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
4 Dec 08 - Interesting blog
someone gave me his blog address today.. well, he blogs cos he dun like to repeat himself (so do I, but of course i've a better 'valid' reason than that).. of course, being the nosy me, i went to read his blog..
he started blogging on Feb 4 (i still can remember how low in life i was on that day.. 2 days after my most depressing birthday).. but can i say his official first entry is on Feb 17 since the first entry is a mere picture? .. anyway, his blog is no-way like mine.. even in his longest entry is shorter than my average post (does that mean I'm very long-winded?).. but i enjoy reading his blog.. it's really entertaining.. so much thoughts and reflections that went through a male's mind.. what a thinker.. when u read his blog, he's a different person altogether.. i might just enjoy reading his blog more than talking to him :P (he's a man of FEW words, really FEW words).. I'm not saying that he's boring, but i believe he has so much more inside him, yet he's not showing it out (at least not to my knowledge).. .. in fact, i was really tempted to comment on several of his posts.. perhaps of his spiritual maturity(that's a very important asset of a man), his views are very interesting and realistic.. but i still prefer to read long entries than short-and-sweet ones..
ok, i'll try to keep my entries short and sweet too. i try ok, i try.. :)
he started blogging on Feb 4 (i still can remember how low in life i was on that day.. 2 days after my most depressing birthday).. but can i say his official first entry is on Feb 17 since the first entry is a mere picture? .. anyway, his blog is no-way like mine.. even in his longest entry is shorter than my average post (does that mean I'm very long-winded?).. but i enjoy reading his blog.. it's really entertaining.. so much thoughts and reflections that went through a male's mind.. what a thinker.. when u read his blog, he's a different person altogether.. i might just enjoy reading his blog more than talking to him :P (he's a man of FEW words, really FEW words).. I'm not saying that he's boring, but i believe he has so much more inside him, yet he's not showing it out (at least not to my knowledge).. .. in fact, i was really tempted to comment on several of his posts.. perhaps of his spiritual maturity(that's a very important asset of a man), his views are very interesting and realistic.. but i still prefer to read long entries than short-and-sweet ones..
ok, i'll try to keep my entries short and sweet too. i try ok, i try.. :)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
4 Dec 08 - Branded bags..
Saw an email from a good friend this morning.. A prayer request for his wife who is obviously obsessed with some branded bags, and they are limited edition! That brings me back to one of my shopping trips.. These friends of mine went in and out of those classy boutiques like those rich 'Tai-Tai', and they compared which brand is more 'worthy' etc.. (If anyone dares to call me 'high-maintainence' or 'Tai-Tai' again, I'll introduce him to these friends!!)
Personally, though the bag is stylish, functional and even with super real high quality material, but so what? I understand the 'investment' value of a branded bag.. But what is 'branded'? Is it not because of its sucessful historical market positioning? Even if it's of a super duper real good material, how often do you carry? And if you do, why burden yourself by worrying 'what if someone scratches/dirties it' or 'what if it's out of shape'? You want to go out to have fun, not to worry about your branded bag! And to be real crude - if you cant afford any scratches on your branded bag, then you do not have the correct mindset, attitude or even capital to own it.
I'm not saying they cant buy branded stuff, but if the percieved material value is more than your personal wellbeing, it's more like the branded stuff OWNING YOU, rather than your owning it. I do have 2 bags which cost hundreds.. they all experience wear-and-tear and depreciation! I do take care of the leather, but I make double sure I take care of myself more than I care for the bags. Afterall, I do not have any 'professional maid' to take care of those bags! We are living in SINGAPORE - high humidity climate! No matter how real or good is the material, nothing can escape the REAL FACTOR - Weather climate!
Then, with the thousands of money spent on one 'investment worthy' bag, you can actually feed so many more kids in the rural countries! People look at those pictures of starving kids, they will say 'so poor thing, wish I can do something for them' yet after flipping the page over, the good samaritian thought is shelved away with an assumption 'there are Red-Cross and others doing it'. And when they see advert on those branded bags (esp those limited edition), the thought of owning such bag will linger and motivate them to buy at all cost.
How is it possible that a non-living thing is worth more than a living person? I just don't understand..
Personally, though the bag is stylish, functional and even with super real high quality material, but so what? I understand the 'investment' value of a branded bag.. But what is 'branded'? Is it not because of its sucessful historical market positioning? Even if it's of a super duper real good material, how often do you carry? And if you do, why burden yourself by worrying 'what if someone scratches/dirties it' or 'what if it's out of shape'? You want to go out to have fun, not to worry about your branded bag! And to be real crude - if you cant afford any scratches on your branded bag, then you do not have the correct mindset, attitude or even capital to own it.
I'm not saying they cant buy branded stuff, but if the percieved material value is more than your personal wellbeing, it's more like the branded stuff OWNING YOU, rather than your owning it. I do have 2 bags which cost hundreds.. they all experience wear-and-tear and depreciation! I do take care of the leather, but I make double sure I take care of myself more than I care for the bags. Afterall, I do not have any 'professional maid' to take care of those bags! We are living in SINGAPORE - high humidity climate! No matter how real or good is the material, nothing can escape the REAL FACTOR - Weather climate!
Then, with the thousands of money spent on one 'investment worthy' bag, you can actually feed so many more kids in the rural countries! People look at those pictures of starving kids, they will say 'so poor thing, wish I can do something for them' yet after flipping the page over, the good samaritian thought is shelved away with an assumption 'there are Red-Cross and others doing it'. And when they see advert on those branded bags (esp those limited edition), the thought of owning such bag will linger and motivate them to buy at all cost.
How is it possible that a non-living thing is worth more than a living person? I just don't understand..
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
3 Dec 08 - Trust in relationship
Good news to share! CellGroup N277 is MULTIPLYING! it's a joyous also a sad news to me. Joyous cos multiplication = more souls in the Kingdom of God, ie a growing church! Sad cos i've to 're-integrate' into the new cell.. nt that i dun like to reintegrate, but i'll be seeing less of some of my current cell members whom i'm very comfortable with now. well, that is CHC.. one cant be too comfortable in his cellgroup that he resist changing cos CHC is really dynamic and cellgroup WILL multiply, whether u like it or not. This is what a healthy cell should be, just like our body cells, teeming with life and ever-multiplying.
ok.. now to my pondering question.. someone just shared her marriage woes with me.. i guess, it's typical issue - husband does not trust her enough to let her stay out late with her friends. i can understand her frustration yet also his insecurity, esp i'm also one of those who has more close guy-friends than ger-friends. i also had a hard time n frustration in past relationship, that my bf then took a cab to my block and waited all night till i return..just to see who i was with. (incredible, right?) that is how insecurity can drive a guy to behave.
but seriously, i've learnt (i also hope i've taught Bosco well in this area).. A man cannot be so insecured to this extend.. Yes, you may 'fear' n wonder what is your gf or wife doing this late hour, is she really out with her friends? but at end of all these doubts, as a man, you MUST trust her. by trusting her, you are not only putting the 'relationship ownership' on her (as matter of fact, it will make the outside temptations less challenging and less enticing) and you also free yourself from all these worrying.. ok, let's look at the worst scenario - ur gf really cheat on you. yes, it hurts n it's disappointing.. but hey, you gave your all in treasuring and trusting the relationship. one day, she will look back and regret for hurting you and not treasuring the love you gave. That is the true sad reality! And best of all, you are answerable to God in all your words and deeds. trust me, there's nothing worse than not being able to answer to God. you cant even find 'excuse' cos He knows your very true intention of heart!
Even more for married couples.. if you don't learn to trust your partner, u r not just caging her but also yourself. Guy, do you know that if a lady agrees and accepts your marriage proposal, it's really because she really loves you and willing to go thru thick and thin with you? The fact that she has committed her entire life into your hands, implies she has decided to trust you with all her heart. Cant you trust her the same?
as for this friend of mine, i know she is tired of 'making things work'. But when nothing seems to work, there's only One Person who can make impossible possible. And prayer is the first key. I'm not saying you dont work and yet expect miracles to happen, but working with God will make it so much easier for u to bear. He knows the start (alpha) and the end (omega) - who knows it better than Him?
ok.. now to my pondering question.. someone just shared her marriage woes with me.. i guess, it's typical issue - husband does not trust her enough to let her stay out late with her friends. i can understand her frustration yet also his insecurity, esp i'm also one of those who has more close guy-friends than ger-friends. i also had a hard time n frustration in past relationship, that my bf then took a cab to my block and waited all night till i return..just to see who i was with. (incredible, right?) that is how insecurity can drive a guy to behave.
but seriously, i've learnt (i also hope i've taught Bosco well in this area).. A man cannot be so insecured to this extend.. Yes, you may 'fear' n wonder what is your gf or wife doing this late hour, is she really out with her friends? but at end of all these doubts, as a man, you MUST trust her. by trusting her, you are not only putting the 'relationship ownership' on her (as matter of fact, it will make the outside temptations less challenging and less enticing) and you also free yourself from all these worrying.. ok, let's look at the worst scenario - ur gf really cheat on you. yes, it hurts n it's disappointing.. but hey, you gave your all in treasuring and trusting the relationship. one day, she will look back and regret for hurting you and not treasuring the love you gave. That is the true sad reality! And best of all, you are answerable to God in all your words and deeds. trust me, there's nothing worse than not being able to answer to God. you cant even find 'excuse' cos He knows your very true intention of heart!
Even more for married couples.. if you don't learn to trust your partner, u r not just caging her but also yourself. Guy, do you know that if a lady agrees and accepts your marriage proposal, it's really because she really loves you and willing to go thru thick and thin with you? The fact that she has committed her entire life into your hands, implies she has decided to trust you with all her heart. Cant you trust her the same?
as for this friend of mine, i know she is tired of 'making things work'. But when nothing seems to work, there's only One Person who can make impossible possible. And prayer is the first key. I'm not saying you dont work and yet expect miracles to happen, but working with God will make it so much easier for u to bear. He knows the start (alpha) and the end (omega) - who knows it better than Him?
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